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Study hard but don't forget to relax, becuase your brain needs rest to function properly at school

dina79 20 / 26 3  
Apr 7, 2016   #1
In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies.
What do you think are the causes of this?
What solutions can you suggest?

The decrease of rest time for youngsters in the several countries when the children have the competition to study hard. While the youngster want to reach their dream such as the good exam, award from competition, continues study in college, the solution about the young people must be perfect to manage their time

The students have the clearly of purpose in the future. The children usually have the exam so they must prepare the ability to answer and they want to have the best result in the exam. Afterwards, it is the happy moment when the youngsters get the appreciation in which the science competition is difficult to win so they always study. Moreover, they want to continues their study and it is the perfect way to study hard in much time after school. The children consider that study knowledge is pivotal role to get the dream

There is also that the kids must recognize the efficiently in time to study. The crucial time when the students study hard but still have rest time. A 2016, the website UPI.COM tells that The brain's ability to recover from injury is remarkable, but it needs time and rest. The young people decides to keep their health with pleasure time. They separate the time as two part for studying and rest time.

In conclusion, the whole reason is the might to study hard but the young age must be the concern to arrange their time for resting time too. I believe that the children comfort to get pressure and study hard since their purpose in the life

justivy03 - / 2,366 607  
Apr 7, 2016   #2
Hi Dina, I'll take charge of the 1st 2 paragraphs of your essay and I hope you follow though with the rest of the essay.

1st paragraph
Well first of all, this introduction is quiet off, I'm not able to figure out where the essay is going to or where you are leading it towards,so here's my suggestion;

A young adults life is sometimes restless, they ave a lot of activities, great aspirations, they set their own goals and developed techniques to always be, one step ahead of the game, all the time.

However, being a young adult is just a start of a more, possibly busier life, but, what does this entail for their leisure and enjoyment? Leisure is one thing that they miss and when they realize it, it's already time to move forward.

2nd paragraph
- The students have the clearly ofa clear
- purpose inof the future.
- The children usually have their exams
- prepare and have the ability
- Afterwards, it is theThis is one happy
- continues their studystudies and
- to get theachieve there dream

Dina, I leave the last two paragraphs for you, so you will be able to practice editing it yourself and you will have a much better final essay.
Anaguna 21 / 27 5  
Apr 8, 2016   #3
Hi Dina,
Here I offer some suggestion in the second paragraph. Hopefully, it will be better to improve your paraphrasing skill.
"A challenge in the future life for having particular skill may become the reason why students getting pressure for study hard. This is due to the fact that they are encouraged for mastering some subject directly in one-time life study. For instance, pupils are given many additional courses in the afternoon to improve their skill in mathematics and other subjects. Inadvertently, they can lose their pastime since they are in school for roughly 10 hours. Students must get rid of their fondness in playing with their peers and many therefore better to study in enjoyment and temporary forget their leisure time. "
Diandin16 9 / 10  
Apr 8, 2016   #4
A 2016, the website UPI.COM (watch carefully when you try to cite a study. I have corrected your research sources from UPI.com. you should specify the exact source exactly what institutions conducting such research .) tells that The brain's ability to recover from injury ...

Dina79, this my alternative from your third paragraph :

In additional, time table skill is one effective methods to get balance in complete tasks from school. this is because children also need proper rest period after learning to avoid fatigue. New research of the Georgetown University Medical Center show the brain fails to undergo the proper repairs when not given enough time after an injury. This indicates that a break after working hard is important for the human brain. And overall, it can be concluded that the right time split between rest and work is a very appropriate decision

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