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Toefl essay:: Studying abroad, advantages and disadvantages.

erfan222 1 / 1  
Oct 14, 2009   #1
Almost every student around the world wishes to pursue his or her education. However, every issue has its pros and cons. In order to making a better decision, one has to explore different aspects of a plan.

Studying abroad lets you experience things you have never faced them before. It gives you the opportunity to communicate with different people who have different religions and speak different languages. This will improve your social skills. In addition, when you graduate from a university in a foreign country, It will make you more prestigious. In work life and in your personal life, It will bring more respect for you. To them, you are a person who experiences a different world with different inhabitants. Needless to say, this prestige will help you to find jobs with more salaries.

On the other hand, when you leave your hometown and migrate to another country to continue your study, some obstacles may show up. For one thing, you must be away from your family and your intimate friends for a while. No doubt, your relationship will fade away if you don't try to keep in touch with them. Moreover, you are exposed to an environment where everybody else acts and behaves different from what you have learned before. They also expect you to express yourself using their culture. Furthermore, your costs most likely are higher and your income is less than in your country. Because you are a foreigner to these new people, you barely find an appropriate job with a high salary at first.

All in all, going abroad in order to continue the education has some advantages and disadvantages. After a thorough consideration of merits and demerits of it, I decide to put all my vigor and pursue my education abroad.

EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Oct 14, 2009   #2
Hmmm . . . okay, so why do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? That seems to be the question you need to answer in your last paragraph to fully deal with the prompt.
OP erfan222 1 / 1  
Oct 15, 2009   #3
Aha, you are completely right, I don't have reasonably support my idea. Thanks for reminding me.
aside form that, how was my structure, grammar and vocabulary for a TOEFL essay?
thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Oct 15, 2009   #4
Furthermore, your costs most likely are higher and your income is less than in your country: are you sure? for example, a American go to a developing country for study? your statement is wrong, isnt it?

moreover, u dont say about advantages
mrarching 3 / 6  
Oct 16, 2009   #5
I think your essay should be more detail supported, some idea is just too general. With details your topic or main idea will be greatly strengthened.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Oct 16, 2009   #6
The rest of the essay follows a fairly standard format. You present both the advantages and the disadvantages -- you just never explain why you think the one set outweighs the other.
lyqinyi 3 / 6  
Oct 16, 2009   #7
In my opinion, a TOEFL essay should contain more personal examples. So I feel if you change the word "YOU" that exists in your essay frequently to "me", the essay will be better.
thinhtvdhtm 41 / 97  
Oct 16, 2009   #8
hi, in essay or any academic writing should avoid using some pronoun such as you, we, i as possible
good luck

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