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Studying English will give many advantages to myself and to the future of Timor-Leste.

Crissia 1 / 1  
Nov 5, 2017   #1
Hello dear...
I need your help, please correct my Essay

Essay to getting free IELTS

Following my opinion studying English language will have a very big impact to myself and to the future of Timor-Leste. English language as we know is International language which mostly people in the world uses to communicate. Studying English will give many vantages to myself and to the future of Timor-Leste. English language make me easy to do in many things: I can speak to people who have different native language with me, I can complete English language application like volunteer, conference, event, scholarship and most interesting information has written in English so I can learn more information about every resources. Moreover the importance impact is to my future, I have dreamed to get scholarship abroad to continue my study levels, to get scholarship is not easy when I don't study English, because everything must do it with English like complete application, test exam and interview but when I am studying English is easy to me to get scholarship abroad and my dream will come true. To the future of Timor-Leste English will make development in every sector (economic, politic, education, technology and culture) from international relationship and use English to communicate to another country which have more experienced in this sector. Also Timor-Leste has multi-languages, they not just use official and native language to communicate but English too

zamzamii 2 / 2  
Nov 5, 2017   #2
your essay is realy good break it into two paragraphs
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,621 2516  
Nov 5, 2017   #3
Crissia, kindly provide the IELTS prompt that you are responding to so that I can better assess the work that you have done. It is difficult to analyze your work as I have no idea what you are trying to discuss and how you should be discussing it. The proper formatting for the IELTS essay is also not being followed. The problem, is that I cannot give you an example of the proper discussion format because I don't know what you are being asked to represent in the essay. Therefore, even though I see that you have a some what well developed essay here, I am stuck when it comes to correcting your mistakes and redirecting your format towards the proper discussion style. While you do have an acceptable grasp of the English language, this does not automatically mean that you know how to properly discuss a test prompt. Kindly provide that the next time you post an essay for review here. Right now, I can see the potential in you. I just don't know how to hone it yet.
Jimmy879873 26 / 55 13  
Nov 5, 2017   #4
Hi Crissia, you are only asking for correcting your essay so I would just point out that there are some grammar mistakes:

For instance,
The English language makes me easy to ...

Try to find the errors that you would usually have at the end of your writing by reviewing it once again.

Now, I am going to rewrite the sentence, maybe you find it useful to write your next essay.

There are many situations that the English language has allowed them became a reality. For instance, speaking with people who have different backgrounds like me, completing the programmes that based on its English language such as volunteering as well as meetings in a conference, more importantly, it is a great access for me to perceive its information of other cultures and resources as a whole in its language.

Hope that helps.
OP Crissia 1 / 1  
Nov 6, 2017   #5
Thank You so much, it's my mistake.
I've made this essay to applying free IELTS, this essay talking about "How do you think studying English language will have an impact on you as an individual and on the future of Timor-Leste? (250 words) "

Look forward to you response...

Best Wishes

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