Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Studying in foreign university should be very helpful for everybody who does not afraid difficulties


NortT 1 / 1  
Jul 31, 2014   #1
Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries.
While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages.
Do you agree or disagree?


In today's world, many young people wish to enter universities to be successful in their life and some of them choose foreign universities. I strongly agree that studying abroad has more merits rather than drawbacks. This will be shown by analyzing advantages of an international diploma as well as experience in a foreign language and some disadvantages like separation with a family and difficulties of living abroad.

On the one hand, people who got education in the worldwide known universities are more competitive in the labor market. For instance, most of company chiefs pay strong attention to qualification of a recruiter and a diploma especially in tandem with knowledge of a foreign language in a high level could play a big role during an interview with an employer. However, a diploma of a local little-known university can not offer any privilege when applying for a job. Thus this makes it clear the main advantage of international education.

On the other hand, studying abroad brings some disadvantages. For example, students are separated with family members and friends for a long period of time and this fact could make young people feel melancholy. Furthermore, living and studying in a foreign country always needs a lot of money and students have to visit their universities and work simultaneously. Fortunately, these troubles are temporary. From this it becomes quite evident that such kind of problems could not outweigh advantages which were mentioned above.

In conclusion, courses in a foreign university should be very helpful for everybody who does not afraid difficulties. Thus it is clear why studying abroad should bring a lot of merits as well as some problems which make people more stronger in spirit. After analyzing this subject, I would probably recommend that students should weigh their strength before entering in a foreign university.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 1, 2014   #2
In today's world, many young people wish to enter universities to bein hope of being successful in their life and some of them choose foreign universities for the same reason.(introduce the background of the issue to the reader at this point before stating your opinion) I strongly agree that studying abroad has more merits rather than drawbacks. This will be shown by analyzing advantages of an international diploma as well as experience in a foreign language and some disadvantages like separation with a family and difficulties of living abroad.

You need to improve the flow of ideas. It is nicer to conclude your intro with a statement that clearly defines your opinion about the issue.
OP NortT 1 / 1  
Aug 1, 2014   #3
Nowadays many students have the opportunity to study for part or all of their courses in foreign countries.
While studying abroad brings many benefits to individual students, it also has a number of disadvantages.
Do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, many young people wish to enter universities to be successful in their life and some of them choose foreign universities. I strongly agree that studying abroad has more merits rather than drawbacks. This will be shown by analyzing advantages of an international diploma as well as experience in a foreign language and some disadvantages like separation with a family and difficulties of living abroad.

Hello dumi,
thanks for your comments and correction. I've rearranged the order of sentences and added a background sentence. What do you think now about my intro?

//-------------------------------------------------------
In today's world, many young people wish to enter universities in hope of being successful in their life and some of them choose foreign universities for the same reason. Studying abroad students get some experience which is not only positive. This will be shown by analyzing advantages of an international diploma as well as experience in a foreign language and some disadvantages like separation with a family and difficulties of living abroad. I strongly agree that studying abroad has more merits rather than drawbacks.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 12, 2014   #4
Hello dumi,
thanks for your comments and correction. I've rearranged the order of sentences and added a background sentence. What do you think now about my intro?

.... yes, it is much improved now and follow a very good approach too :)
A few suggestions;

Studying abroad students get some experience which is not only positive

.... this sentence has a few issues... it ends abruptly , it does not deliver a clear ideas as to what such experience would help students. Also, there is a grammar correction - Not only goes with but also ... So you need to have two things there in the sentence to show how such experience would help students. This is what I suggest;

Studying abroad would not only help students gain a rich exposure and knowledge in their respective disciplines, but also offer them with important networking opportunities.


Home / Writing Feedback / Studying in foreign university should be very helpful for everybody who does not afraid difficulties