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Studying major cities helps to understand the most important characteristics of a society -GRE Issue


dunguyen 9 / 19 6  
Aug 23, 2014   #1
Hi all,

I'm preparing to take the GRE and would really appreciate for any feedback on my writing samples. Thanks in advance!

Here is the prompt and instructions:

To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Here is my writing:

"A group of people, regardless of size, can form a society in which unique characteristics exists. While it is obviously true that studying any society can reveal certain aspects of its characteristics, the scale of the society plays a critical role to determine them in depth and breadth. As a result, major and densely populated cities are where important characteristics of a society are widely observed; therefore, thoroughly understood.

Culture is an unarguably fundamental feature when researching a society as it reflects the people's living traditions and habits. However, walking through a minor community may help only little to capture its cultural diversity. Matamata, a town in New Zealand that became worldwide famous after being chosen for the built-up Hobbit's village in the Lord of the Rings, virtually has no remarkable culture, except its wide grass land and tiny architectures. In stark contrast, the city of Miami, or San Fransico in United States exposes us to the enormous range of ethnics' culture as evidenced by the variety of restaurants, festivals and the presence of large international companies. This is indicative of cultural diversity, an important characteristic of a society, and can be only found in major cities.

Now consider politics, a vital characteristic of any society. Undoubtedly, capital cities are always structured as the political center in any country. From Washington DC, London to Beijing, these major cities are the home to leading politicians regardless of their parties. From democrats, republicans to socialists, they concentrate on the major cities to spread their views and exert their powers. Of course, one would argue that political practices are observable at local cities or rural areas. However, they do not fully represent views of the whole population; thus, limit our understanding in this critical society's characteristic.

Like politics, it would be insufficient not to mention religion in the context of society's characteristics. If you want to gain a complete picture of Islam, you may find yourself looking up for the Muslims' life in Jakarta or Baghdad. Or the populous Bangkok would be your destination should you are looking to study the Buddhism. Obviously, we can still explore these religious beliefs in some minor communities where they practice them, but we can hardly understand them in a larger context for a society.

In conclusion, it is clear that studying major cities helps to understand the most important characteristics of a society. A look at the minor cities, as representatives to sample of a society, certainly does not unveil as much as a closer examination of larger cities. Upon considering the real life examples relevant to cultural, political and religious aspects of a society, the statement appears more accurate and solid."

Best wishes,
Du

Binte Rasheed - / 4  
Aug 23, 2014   #2
Its goos, but truly saying i am confuse about which major countries you are taking and why? either take only one country and explain about it's cities or mention that i am taking specific cities of these countries. give some details that why you have choose that cities and why not other major cities of world
OP dunguyen 9 / 19 6  
Aug 23, 2014   #3
Thanks Binte! Now that I read again the prompt, I might have understood the statement. I should have focused on one particular society (a country) and then wrote about its major and minor cities rather than mixed them up like above.

Regards,
D


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