study at schools or at own home?
One day, whether studying at home with modern technology or at traditional schools is pupils' decision, but it is now raising a debate between everyone. From my point of view, the later is better.
On the one hand, such schools are extremely beneficial. Firstly, the studying is more effective at school. Students can have a face-to-face discussion with their teachers, can be supervised thoroughly and do not be distracted there. Secondly, schools are great places to maintain interpersonal relationships. At schools, pupils are able to meet other people and befriend with those who have the same interests as them, Finally, traditional schools also have extra-curricular activities such as field trips, clubs and voluntary work. Via these activities, youngsters learn valuable lessons from life.
On the other hand, I prefer the later to the former due to several drawbacks of technology. To begin with, looking at the computer or phone constantly may lead to some health problems. At first, they are just slight symptoms, but gradually, they will become more serious ones like myopia, depression, and so on. Moreover, this might be a problem to poor students, who can hardly afford a computer. Inadequacy of devices might worsen the studying of these children.
In conclusion, I think traditional schools will still play an essential role in the future due to its aforementioned advantages, and students should only choose to study at home with technology as an extra way of learning.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,430 4691
The essay kicks off with a deducted TA score due to insufficient word count at 239 / 250 words minimum. Deductions in this part means the essay can be prevented from receiving a passing score because the essay is understood to be lacking in proper explanation development, among other additional scoring mistakes or errors.
Due to several prompts being related to this topic, I would need the actual prompt you used to create a comprehensive review of your work. I will work with what I have for now. It won't be comprehensive but it will still be a useful review.
The paraphrase includes the topic and the identification of the opposing sides.Missing from the presentation are the 2 different reason statements for each opinion. The discussion basis of your restatement is incomplete.
Word usage errors exist from the very start with the use of the word later (at a time in the future) instead of latter (being the second mentioned of 2). While the examiner maybe able to guess the more proper word, deductions to the LR and C + C sections will be applied.
A comparative discussion approach was used for what appears to be a single opinion discussion. No scores will be provided for the unrelated paragraph discussions.
This first attempt at task I writing is problematic but shows the writer has promise in writing correct response formats. Better writing guidance and English word familiarity are required for the writer's improvement in response style and overall scoring.