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Studying at traditional schools, an individual can gain social skills as well as science information


sahar_hmd1363 2 / 2 2  
Sep 24, 2014   #1
In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or TV or of studying at traditional schools. Which would you prefer?

By the rapid advancement of technology, probably the choice of studying at home by using technology or of studying at traditional schools will be a big challenge for the families in the future. Since both of choices have different advantageous or disadvantageous, people may opt for one of them based on their priorities. In my opinion, the benefits of studying at traditional schools outweigh studying at home individually.

First, I believe that by studying at traditional schools, an individual can gain social skills as well as science information. He interacts with his peers, and makes new friends. He can obtain new experience through his relationships and get well-prepared for his future life in the society or workplace. While by studying at home, he doesn't have the chance of communicating with other students in the school.

Second, in my point of view, one of the best advantageous of studying at school is being in a competition atmosphere, which means more motivation for the students. By studying at home, you cannot see the other students' abilities, and you cannot compare yourself with others. Therefore, you are not able to evaluate your studying quality well. For example, when I was studying for the entrance exam of the university lonely at home, I did not strive very much because I thought my current knowledge was enough for the exam, and other students were in my level too. Consequently, I failed that exam, but for the second try, I participated in the preparing class, which was very effective for me because I could observe other's attempts, and found motivation to compete with them. Finally, I pull it off.

Last, studying at home moves you to a sedentary life which will threat your mentally health as well as physical one. You have to study at least five hours in a day in front of computers or television while you sit on your chair. You change to a machine just studying without any playing, running or walking. By This life style, you may get overweigh, or lose your vitality in the life.

In the conclusion, technology is not always a key to success and improvement. We, as a human, need something over it to expand our knowledge and spirit parallelly. That's why I prefer studying at traditional school rather than at home by technology.

Ulaai 3 / 18 8  
Sep 24, 2014   #2
Since both of choices have different advantageousadvantages or disadvantageousdisadvantages

Advantageous is an adjective. Advantages is a verb. They have different advantages, hence they're advantageous.

First, I believe

Second, in my point of view

Yes, we all know that you write the whole essay based on your own perspective, so there's no need to state the same thing multiple times.

For example, when I was studying for the entrance exam of the university lonely at home

Did you mean when I was studying for the entrance exam of the university by myself at home? .

I thought my current knowledge at that time

current = something that are still exist until now. you talk about something in the past, that's not something 'current'.

Finally, I pulled it off.

Last, studying at home moves you to a sedentary life which will cause threat for your mentally health

as a humans

I see that you have a lot of inconsistencies with your grammar. When you talk about the past, use the past tense for all of your sentences.

I hope this helps. Good luck! :)
OP sahar_hmd1363 2 / 2 2  
Sep 24, 2014   #3
thank you for your favor. I have started writing recently and it seems like I have a lot of problems! :) but I have about 3 months time to get better ;) I appreciate you help again!
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Sep 24, 2014   #4
Sahar, don't be afraid to come by anytime with your essays :-) We look forward to helping you become more at home and proficient in essay writing over the coming days. weeks and months. Remember, practice makes perfect. It won't hurt if you also brush up on current events and pop culture depending upon whether you are practicing for the TOEFL or IELTS.

All of us had writing problems when we first started. It took us a great deal of time to overcome our problems and I am sure that over time, we will also see a marked improvement in your writing skills. Don't lose heart. No matter how hard it is for you to be writing now, you will find that it will get easier over the coming days. The practice tests are very important and you should take it seriously. Paired with advice coming from the members of this forum, you should have a pretty solid support group that will help you gain confidence in your writing skills as your exam date nears :-) Just learn to always take our suggestions and comments constructively because we all want to see you succeed once you take the test :-)


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