Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

'a personal style statement' - it is important to follow fashion?


xitrona 4 / 11  
Apr 21, 2012   #1
Fashion is growing around the world. It is a testimony of how our culture had been developed. We can see the development of our culture by its fashion. For example the dress from years ago with the dress in this year is so different. People always renew the style to be more comfortable and better to use and started to leave the old style. It shows that fashion is growing continuously every year. But now, with its fast growing, many people tend to update on every new trend and use it without consider the personality. And here I believe that to take updating in fashion is necessary but, being updated in fashion without considering the personality would make the loose of identity.

Nowadays, many people tend to lose their self and become somebody else because of many interesting products are offered by television and magazine. There are many good and brands of clothes, shoes, accessories, make ups, and even cell phones. And how people would not want to have those same good and branded stuffs, if it is often have famous people or favorite actresses and actors as its model?. Often fans of one particular actress followed how the actress dresses from head to toe. And it seems that the fans do not know who they are and want to become like the actress. And that is the wrong thing to do. Because, people do not have to become someone else to be updated in fashion and have good style.

Updating in fashion does not mean by following every single detail of the newest trend's offer by Media such as magazine and television too. Trend is the latest and newest fashion style which is famous at the time. Following trends blindly is wrong. Because, people who are wearing exactly the same like other people without seeing that it is suit the body and reflect the personality or not, is a complete disaster. It makes people lose the identity and not become who truly they are. Every people have to be different and have style of their own that reflects their personality and not just follow every fashion's offer directly. Where is the uniqueness as one person, if it looks the same as the other million people?

In conclusion, I think fashion is all about making a personal style statement. It is necessary to follow fashion to not become left behind but, people have to be pickier to choose fashion. Do not be too easy to follow every new trend. Those who do not know the actual meaning of fashion, will go through every trend and become the same as million other people that use the same trend at the time. People have to create the style that shows their true personality.

giorgio186 9 / 54  
Apr 23, 2012   #2
It is a testimony of how our culture had been developed.
has developed

We can see the development of our culture by its fashion
in

For example the dress from years ago with the dress in this year is so different
For example, contemporary clothing differs hugely from that used years ago.

People always renew the style to be more comfortable and practical.

But now, with its fast growth , many people tend to update on every new trend and use it without consideringthe personalityPersonality of what?

And here I believe that to take updating in fashion is necessary but, being updated in fashion without considering the personality would make the loose of identity.

Rephrase it. It is confusing.

Nowadays, many people tend to lose their self and become somebody else because of many interesting products are offered by television and magazines

There are many good and brands of clothes, shoes, accessories, make-ups , and even cell phones

And how people could not want to have the same good and branded stuff, if it is often owned by famous people or favorite actresses and actors too ?

Often fans of one particular actress followed how the actress dresses from head to toe.
Fans often literally copy their favourite actresses's style of clothing.

And it seems that the fans do not know who they are and want to become like the actress
they are adopting acresse's identity

And that is the wrong thing to do. Because, people do not have to become someone else to be updated in fashion and have good style.

Updating in fashion does not mean by following every single detail of the newest trend's offer by media such as magazine and television too.

Because, people who are wearing exactly the same clothesas other people without seeing that it should suit the body and reflect the personality or not, are a complete disaster.

It makes people lose their identity and not become who they really are.

Every people should be different and have a style of their own that reflects their personality and does not just follow every fashion's offer directly.

Where is the uniqueness as one person, if it looks the same as the other million people?

Where is the uniqueness of one person if they look the same as millions of others

It is necessary to follow fashion to not become left behind but, people have to be pickier to choose fashion.
and not to fall behind.

Do not be too easy to follow every new trend.
eager

Those who do not know the actual meaning of fashion, will go through every trend and become the same as million other people that use the same trend at the time.

You are repeating yourself.

What is the word count. Your essay could benefit from being much shorter.
Hope this helps.
OP xitrona 4 / 11  
Apr 23, 2012   #3
Oh my god!
Thank you.. I have to study more with the grammar, I guess
this is my first time on writing essay, and english is not my mother language :(
it is very helpful especially on my assignment. thx :)


Home / Writing Feedback / 'a personal style statement' - it is important to follow fashion?