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IELTS Task 1: Subway system in six major countries


SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Mar 14, 2014   #1
Write at least 150 words
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The table reveals evidence of the underground railway systems in six major countries in field of opening date, length of route, and the commuters are carried.

Not surprisingly, all mentioned features of six subway system varied markedly. While Kyoto subways reckoned for the least route and the least passenger statistic per year, the oldest underground railway system in London shows the longest length.

Turning to the details, by comparison with Los Angeles subway system, London's system coming first construction in 1863 and carried out at 775 million commuters annually. However, coming the sixth underground railway systems, Los Angeles, being inaugurated in 2001 carried 50 passengers in the route of 28 kilometers.

A more detailed look at the table shows, the subterranean railways appears in the twentieth century in Tokyo. Such trend attaching 155 kilometer route and reached the top notch passenger by 1927 million, followed by 199 length system in Paris recorded 1191 million ridership and 126 kms length. However, Washington DC underground railways lengthening 126 kms serviced 144 million commuters per year.



eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 14, 2014   #2
Not surprisingly,

It's often better to play safe in IELTS exam :P
Possible Revision:Overall,... | In general,...

Los Angeles, being inaugurated in 2001 (a comma) carried 50 passengers in the route of 28 kilometers.

the subterranean railways appearsappeared in the twentieth century in Tokyo. Such trend attachingcovered 155 kilometer route and reached...
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 14, 2014   #3
Not surprisingly, all mentioned features of six subway system varied markedly. While Kyoto subways reckoned for the least route and the least passenger statistic per year, the oldest underground railway system in London shows the longest length.

.... you need to adopt a more reporting tone . Avoid phrases like "Not surprisingly" which sound more personal.

Not surprisingly, all mentioned features of six subway system varied markedly.

I do not see any meaning in having this sentence :( It does not provide any vital information regarding the details presented in the table :(
Turning to the details, by comparisonwhen compared with Los Angeles subway system, London's system comingcame first construction in 1863 and carried out at 775 million commuters annually.
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Mar 14, 2014   #4
The table reveals evidence of the underground railway systems in six major countries in field of opening date, length of route, and the commuters are carried.

The table compares six underground railway systems in terms of opening date, total length of route and passenger numbers per year.

Kyoto subways reckoned for the least route and the least passenger statistic per year

Kyoto's subway has the shortest route and lowest number of passengers

by comparison with Los Angeles subway system

I think this part adds no value to your sentence.

coming the sixth underground railway systems, Los Angeles, being inaugurated in 2001 carried 50 passengers in the route of 28 kilometers.

This sentence has grammatical mistakes.
The latest system of the six is in Los Angeles, which is inaugurated in 2001 and responsible for carrying 50 million passengers annually over the route of 28 kilometers.

A more detailed look at the table shows, the subterranean railways appears in the twentieth century in Tokyo.

Actually, there are four systems established in the twentieth century.
You should pay attention to your grammar!
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Mar 16, 2014   #5
The table revealsevidencepresents detailed statistics of the underground railway systems in six major countries in field of opening date, length of route, and the commuters are carried.

Not surprisingly, all mentioned features of six subway system varied markedly.
Turning to the details, by comparison with Los Angeles subway system,London'sLondon had the first subway systemcoming first construction in 1863 and carried out at 775 million commuters annually. However, coming the sixth underground railway systems, Los Angeles sub way was inaugurated in 2001 and carried 50 passengers in the route of 28 kilometers.


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