You are really on your way. There are a couple of minor errors, but when they show up repeatedly, they stick more in the reader's mind.
I noticed you don't put a space after your commas. Why? They all need a space; it will help the reader's mind process the words. Watch your punctuation in general. Put a space behind all of the commas, period, colons, semicolons. There are a couple places where the periods are missing.
This,and hence,accuses the shortages of aspiration of being unsuccessful.
I am not sure what you are trying to say with this sentence, but I get the feeling that you might have used the words. Accuses
means to blame someone for a crime or offense. Aspiration
is kind of like a goal or a dream. Did you mean unsuccessful
others strongly disapproves
Watch your verb agreement. Others
is plural so the verb needs to be as well. It is one of the most difficult things in English (articles--the, a, an--are another common mistake).
The higher demand they have,the pressures they will suffer.
This is a tricky sentence. Do they have demands or are demands being placed on them? How about something like: The more demands made of them, the more pressure they will suffer.
reach the success's door
You don't need the word the
there are great deal of concrete circumstances
This is a sentence where you need an article. Insert a
before great deal.
dreaming of mercy,wealthiness
I don't think that you want mercy
is more like forgiveness. Wealthiness
is an awkward word. Just wealth
they spend all the time
Change this to their time.