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success in life depends on active attitude

Jerah_85 1 / -  
Dec 8, 2011   #1
Today, I want to talk a belief that success in life depends on active attitude. When I was young, I often heard this from those adult, but until I say what my neighbors experienced. I moved a lot. My neighbors-Lily and Lucy are twins. Both of them are lovely and smart. But they live very different life.

When they were young, Lily was too shy to talk or play with other children while her sister Lucy is a sun-like girl who can not stay in a house for a short time. We always saw Lily read some books in her room in the same time Lucy went crazy with her little friends. With the growth of them, Lily seemed to be so absorbed in studying and Lucy would like to take long time with her friends not the families, none books, of course.

When they were over 10 grade, the gap different became larger. Lily put long time on studying and because of this, she only had two friends and all of them were excellent students on obtaining awards prize. In compare with Lily, Lucy took too much time on beauty, dress, party and making friends. Due to their different direction of attitude, they got different skills.

When they graduated from high school, Lily got into the best university in the country with high marks while Lucy got into a third-rate university with exact score. They were really smart, which I had already said at the beginning, both of them started their plan of future or career. Lily, whose study was outstanding, was employed by an international company as an internship. Lucy, however, was also asked by the public relations department though the company was private. Both of them loved their job because what they did is exactly what they were good at and what they liked since they were young.

Time went fast. Both girls got their diploma, Lily awarded double degree and Lucy graduated successfully. But that did not effect them a little. Due to hard work these years, they became to be very successful persons.

Now I want to say Lily and Lucy are different, not only their characters but their direction of active attitude. Lily's direction of active attitude is study, or knowledge while Lucy's is relationship. There may be lots of people see Lucy is a crazy girl at the beginning and she must be the negative example of this topic. Actually Lucy just put her focus on how to deal with relationships among peoples. So, everyone must get a direction about life. What we choose and how much effect we put is the means of measure of the success in future life.
admission2012 - / 481 90  
Dec 9, 2011   #2

If this essay is truly for a college application you should ditch it ASAP. Nothing about this essay will excite an admissions counselor. This story is dry and has been told -literally 3.7 million times before. I know, I've counted. Colleges want diversity. They want not just the stereotypical geek, but more-so the geek who is also interested in sports or beauty or that has a social life. There is more to life than just studying and attempting to plan your entire life at a young age. Colleges want well rounded individuals. I would need to learn more about you, and more about the actual prompt of this essay to help guide you. - AAO
leviator 7 / 39  
Dec 9, 2011   #3
This really doesn't say anything about you at ALL.
Maybe you could talk about an encounter with failure, how you dealt with it, how you gained from it, and with an active attitude and determination, how you overcame it.

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