Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Should successful sports player get a great deal of money??


riny 13 / 26  
Nov 4, 2010   #1
Q: Successful sports professionals can earn great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, professional sports players have received a great media attention worldwide. These sports professions such as golf and tennis players who won sports competitions often earn a huge amount of money. On the other hand, other professions like scientists and engineers have not had enough attention and the money they earn is significantly less than the sports players' rewards, even they have achieved highly important success in a certain field.

I strongly believe this trend in society is unfair. Discovery and success in the field of science and technology are more important than sports games. This is because these achievements contribute to the future study and human lives. A study of medicines, for instance, plays essential role to prevent malignant diseases such as cancer and AIDS. Thus, leading a healthy life in today's society must attribute to the accomplishment of professions' effort in medical technology. Therefore, the government should give a reward for these fields of science and technology rather than sports players.

However, some people think sports players are sacrificed their lives. These people are often living under a stress, since they do not have any confidentiality and their life styles are often exposed by the society. The great deal of money which is earned at one time of the competitions also compensates for their short period of career in their lives, because the early retirement is often unavoidable for players.

In conclusion, even though there are some reasons that sports professions are earning the great amount of money, other professions' hardship must be rewarded by the society as well as sports players.

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Nov 4, 2010   #2
Hi,
In recent years, professional sports players have received a great media attention worldwide. ----This is a good start. I feel it is better if you can support this idea with one more sentence that further explains the link between media and the income of sport stars.

These sports professional s such as golf and tennis players who won sports competitions often earn a huge amount of money as their prize money for winning competitions. On the other hand, other professional s like such as scientists and engineers have not hadbeen given enough attention and the money they earn is significantly lesser than the to what sports players'starsrewardsearn , evenalthough they have achieved highlyvery important successes in a certaintheir respective fields .
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Nov 13, 2010   #3
Hi Rina, I think you should practice typing the sentences the way dumi suggested.

Also, I'll give some help below:

even though they have achieved highly important success in a certain field.

The study of medicine, for instance, plays an essential role in preven ting malignant diseases such as cancer and AIDS.

However, some people think sports players are sacrificing their lives. These people are often living under a stress, since they do not have any confidentiality privacy and their lifestyles are often exposed to all of society.

Great points!! You are smart... :-)
anthony1993 1 / 1  
Nov 13, 2010   #4
However, some people think sports players are sacrificed (maybe just change to sacrifice)their lives


Home / Writing Feedback / Should successful sports player get a great deal of money??