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(summary Article) Apple Is Teasing a Black Friday Sale for the First Time in Years


alfinkurnia 33 / 47  
Nov 28, 2016   #1
Last year Apple didn't proposed discount in black Friday. It just combined the iTunes gift cards with certain purchases made on the shopping holiday. Apple's latest revenues results marked the third consecutive quarter where the latest year-over-year revenue had decreased. And Eventhough Apple sold more iPhones than expected in the previous quarter, selling iPhone Decreased by 5%.

source : TIME

Pramudia27 34 / 55 2  
Nov 28, 2016   #2
Anddo not use "and" in front of your sentence owing to the fact that "and " just cam be used to be conjunction and parallel structure Eventhough Apple sold more iPhones ...

i think you should mention the link that have you resume it to make easy other people to look it, and also try to resume logger than right now because sorter resume cannot covered all of these information.

break a leg
Bams17 28 / 43  
Nov 29, 2016   #3
Last year Apple didn't proposed ...

you should use present tense in this form because it is about fact >>>>> every last year apple do not......

And Eventhough Apple sold more iPhones...

try to write length bro it sound like 2 sentence
make good flow and smooth use conjunction and subordinating conjunction
the examiner cannot assessment if you do not write more.
septiadara29 48 / 67 9  
Nov 29, 2016   #4
Hello Alfinkurnia! I will give you my opinions about your best short summary as well as your comment.

(1) Last year Apple didn't(Please use appropriate sentence in your summary. It should be 'did not')

(2) ...proposed a discount in black Friday.
You need to pay attention about noun that should be put after article. So it should be 'a discount' which 'a' as article and 'discount' as noun

(3) ... with certain purchases that made on ...

(4) Apple's latest revenues resultsresulted amarked the third consecutive quarter(I did not get what the meaning of this sentence) where the latest ...

(5) And(You should read more about FANBOYS on google) Eventhough Apple sold more iPhones than they expected in the previous quarter...


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