Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

summary article Arctic ice melt is killing birds


Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 22, 2016   #1
Nowadays, the environmentalists and scientist believe that global warming is one of the most dangerous issues around the world. Not only affects to the widespread countries, but also ecosystems across the Arctic and Antarctica. As a result, the population of obvious species such as fish and seabirds will decline because the warmer climate. In the other hand, animals in other continent are affected critical part of the ecosystem in the Canadian Arctic Archipelago, which has more than 36,000 islands. Reindeer or well-known as caribou travel over the ice land to find food and shelter and raise their young.

RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Nov 22, 2016   #2
-........Not only affects to the widespread countries, [what does this mean?] WIDELY AFFECTED COUNTRIES but also ecosystems ...

-......of obvious CERTAIN species such as (...) because OF ....
- ..., animals in other continentSare affected [PASSIVE??? SO WHAT THE CORRELATION WITH 'CANADIAN ARCTIC ARCHIPELAGO'???] critical part of the ecosystem in ...
---> MAY YOU YOU WANT TO SAY : animals in other continents ...
-, which has more than 36,000 islands.
Reindeer or being well-known as caribou travelS over the ice (...) and shelter [comma] and raise their young.

as you can see, you are still having problem in accuracy although it is better than before. Now you also need to concern on the function/meaning of each of your sentences to ensure that you deliver understandable summary. Your understanding on the article is also essential as you cannot make a superb summary without in-dept comprehending on the article you read
Holt - / 7,528 2001  
Nov 22, 2016   #3
Dioba, the article that you summarized is too short. It is obvious that you wrote this summary in a rush because there is not enough information in it to deliver an authoritative feel. Also, the information is more like hearsay because you did not manage to inform the reader about who wrote the article, where it was published, and what the purpose of the article is. In fact, your summary is open ended in the sense that the final sentence does not sound like a conclusion. It is almost as if you were supposed to add some information to it but failed to do so. Did you run out of time or something? In terms of task achievement, I feel that you could have performed better and offered more information from the article. This is not as good a work as the first one you submitted for review. I suggest that you try to write another summary based on this article. Try to improve on your presentation and make sure that it is a informative as it can be for the reader. Remember, a summary must deliver the most important points of an article confusing the reader. In this case, there is notable confusion even in the way that you wrote the summary.


Home / Writing Feedback / summary article Arctic ice melt is killing birds