Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6

Summary IELTS Task Beagle Mars probe probably didn't crash, new analysis shows


Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 11, 2016   #1
Beagle 2, British aero plane, was assumed failed to reach the surface of Mars because no reply signal was received back. Moreover, the team has a tendency to assume that the parachute and airbags which is to slow down the acceleration of Beagle had been broken, in other word Beagle 2 crashed. After more than a decade, surprisingly it was found on the Martian surface. Furthermore, to find clear explanation about what happened with Beagle 2, some experts conduct research used 3D software and tool to match both simulated and truly images of Beagle 2. The purpose is to find real explanation as would be possible without landing on the planet itself. As we know, Mars is one of delicate planet because of the atmosphere. In other hand, Nick Higget, a researcher from De Montfort University, conclude that the Beagle 2 did not destroyed, but landed and probably deployed most of its panels.

source : newscientist.com/article/2112484-beagle-mars-probe-probably-didnt-crash-new-analysis-shows/

mem77 62 / 98 6  
Nov 11, 2016   #2
Dear Dioba, here some advice for your writing and feel free to correct me too!

Moreover, the team hashad a tendency to assume ...

....airbags which iswas to slow down the acceleration ...

....ome experts conducted research used 3D software and tool to match ...

The purpose iswas to find the real explanation as would be ...

Regards
Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Nov 11, 2016   #3
Dioba, your writing is inconsistent and fractured. The information your essay is not complete and your sentence formation is quite choppy. You should concentrate on improving your note taking skills before you focus on your sentence structure problems. It would be best for you to learn to recognize the important information being conveyed in the original article, which you can then take jot down as part of the important notes to be included in the summary. By doing this, you should be able to develop smoother sentences which will not lack on coherence and should also help you properly accomplish the summarizing task. When you write these summaries, you should always cite the original publication, its date, and the author if any is provided. That way your summary gains an air of authenticity and also helps you avoid any charges of plagiarism in a professional context. Don't forget that the information about the writer and publication are also important information related to the text you are summarizing.
nda18 46 / 81 9  
Nov 13, 2016   #4
Hi dio, these are my thought towards your summary

1. it would be better if you write an opening sentence for your summary.

2. Moreover, the team hashad a tendency to assume

3. ...that the parachute and airbags which is to slow down the acceleration of Beagle had been broken
[which had a function to slow down... or which slowing down the acceleration...]

4. about what happened withto Beagle 2

suggestion :
you should watch your sentence structure
some information are not clear enough


keep writing and good luck
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Nov 14, 2016   #5
Beagle 2, A British aero plane, was assumed failed / WOULD BE FAILED to reach t.....
... has a tendency to assume CONCEIVE that the (...) which is ARE FUNCTIONED to slow down the ...

..., some experts HAVE conduct ED research used 3D software...

The purpose is to find THE real explanation as IT would be possiblewithout landing on the planet itself.[CAN NOT GET WHAT DID YOU MEAN???]

... of delicate planetS because of the UNIQUE atmosphere/ SLIGHTLY SIMILAR ATMOSPHERE WITH EARTH, ETC .In other hand, Nick Higget, a (...), concludeS/HAS CONCLUDED that the Beagle 2 did ...
WasishaSisha 16 / 20  
Nov 14, 2016   #6
Hi dioba,

Beagle 2, British aero(no space) plane, was assumed failed to ...
... tendency to assume that the parachute and airbags which is(are, there are 2 subjects) to slow down (...), in other word(s)(it must followed by plural noun) Beagle 2 crashed.

Furthermore, to find the clear explanation ...
The purpose is to find the real explanation as ...
..., Mars is one of the delicate planet because (...) did not destroyed , but landed and probably ...


Home / Writing Feedback / Summary IELTS Task Beagle Mars probe probably didn't crash, new analysis shows