Teachers are needed for everyone, for basketball players, tennis players, gymnasts, or bridge player. To get better, we need advice from people. The teacher is the one who should get advice as they have a responsibility to educate the nation's future.
Until now, almost 98 percent of teachers are just getting comments with one word: Excellent. Now, many areas are being changed the way they evaluate teachers, but we still did not give them feedback to help them improve themselves. Teachers deserve better. The system that we have today is not fair for them, also for the students.
Let's start by asking who is the good teachers. Unfortunately, there is no international ranking table in the feedback system for teachers. So I look to countries where their students academic rank pretty good, and see what they do to help their teachers improve.
Let's look at the places with the best academic performance: Shanghai Province in China is the best place in the affairs of education. One key to the success of Shanghai is how they help teachers to constantly improve themselves with their system. They made sure the junior teachers got a chance to see senior teachers work. They have weekly study groups where teachers get together and talk about the ways that work. They even requires each teacher to observe and give advice to their colleagues.
why a system like this is important? Because there is so much diversity in teaching. Some teachers teach more effectively than others. So we need a system that helps teachers to be the best. What kind of system it later? our foundation has worked with 3,000 teachers across the country region through a project called Measuring Effectiveness of Teaching. Observers watch the video of teachers who are teaching and assessing how the teachers teach. And we found very interesting. First, the teachers that worked well during the observation has a much better student. So we know the questions we got it right. Secondly, the teachers in the program said that the video and the survey of these students is a diagnostic tool that is very useful for those with very specific show sides that they can fix to improve teaching strategies, teaching methodologies, classroom management and I, together with all the different sides of my classroom.
Impact for teachers will be enormous. Finally we have a way to give feedback and also how to proceed. This system will be able to ensure that our students get a good education, find a job that is fulfilling and rewarding and got the chance to realize their dreams.
You have a good summary
I have some corrections
Let's start by asking who is ...
So thus, I look to the countries where (...) see what they do to help their teachers improve improve their teacher ability.
Let's look at the places with ...
They made sure the junior teachers got ...
They have weekly study groups where
They even requires each teacher to ...
So Therefore, we people need a system that ...
... who are teaching and assessing alsohow the teachers teach.
And Next, we people found very interesting. So Thus, we people know the questions ...
... of these students is a diagnostic toolthat is very useful for (...) show sidesthat they can fix to improve teaching which are strategies, teaching methodologies, ...
You can use another words in the repeated words.
You can explain what the interesting part in second paragraph at line four.
probably it can become the corrections.
the sentence "They even requires" is better to be changed "They even require".
the word "why a system like this is important?", we can make it "why is a system like this important?", because it is question word.
the sentence "the video and the survey of these students is" can be changed to be the video and the survey of these students are" because the subject is plural
and I, together with all the different sides of my classroom, where is verb? you can add verb after I.
Until now, you can use 'up to now 'that better
The system that we have today is unfair for them, also for the students.
They even require
s each teacher to observe and ...
i hope it can be able to help you ..
Your essay is really inspiring. Thanks for that, as a teacher, I do agree with your statement as you say "the system that we have today is not fair for teachers and for students too". Your statement is really described a real fact about teachers at this entire globe, espesially in my country, Indonesia.
As far as noticed, I only found one sentence that seems awkward. Let me show you
-The teacher is the one who should GET ADVICE as they have a ...
I think you should change the words GET ADVICE become GAIN KNOWLEDGE
Thank, I do hope It's useful for you.