Music and history are two things that deeply connected. According to the latest research, music has been present in the history and precise dates come back to the prehistory. History will bring out some various musical genres from year to year. Also, culture and social of music affected the history and have inspired a plenty of artists. For the first time, the British music experiences explore the history and influence it over the past 60 years. In that time, the British held the exhibition that divide seven zones with the different genres were performed. In 1945 till in this day era, provide an insight into how musical genres were formed. The kind of music that performed in the exhibition are reggae, rock n' roll, blues and skiffle. Not only have that, but also some artist like Rolling stone and David Bowie show off their performance. This event becomes famous to introduce British music genre.
Hi Ibal,
Here's my analysis of your article summary about British music experience. I hope you can follow through.
- Music and history are two things that aredeeplyclearly, closely, directly, intimately, strongly connected. (inappropriate collocation)
- According to the latest research, music has been present in the history and precise dates come back to the prehistory.(confusing, I have no idea what you're talking about in this sentence. Perhaps, you can consider my alternative sentence.)music that has been presented in the history will come back to the prehistory in precise dates.
- History will bring outrevealsome various musical genres from year to year/annually . (another inappropriate collocation problem)
- Also, culture and social of music thataffectedaffect the history and have inspired a plenty ofmany artists.
- For the first time, the British music experiences explore the historyan exploration of the history and influencesitthem over the past 60 years.
- InAt that time, the British held thean exhibition that divides seven zones with the different genres. were performed.
- InFrom 1945 till in this dayto this era, people provide an insight intoabout how musical genres werehad been formed.
As you can see, I omit most of your "the"s. Over-usage of that article would not bring any significant benefits towards your essay. Even, it would possibly drag your score down. Be more careful next time. I believe you can do that. Good luck :)
