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Summary: Why education, not punishment, is the solution to reducing crime | John Lonergan


ibe13 36 / 50 9  
Sep 21, 2016   #1
In the last few decades, the improvement of prison became a center of attention. This is because people have realized that prisoners are not a different species of human being; they are us. John Lonergan is a very active man who participates in a lot of voluntary and charity work and he has even written a book. Lonergan believes that punishment was not the best solution to make criminals to be better. Building trust from them is the starting point that must be developed. To gain the trust of criminals is a difficult and time consuming undertaking but without trust there will be little progress. If people really want to help and support them, we will have to listen to what prisoners need. In addition to, education for criminals is the most essential factor for their future. For example, more than 30% of criminals cannot continue their career because they have no knowledge and skills needed when they are free from prison. Thus, before being free, prisoners must have provision to achieve their goal.

(174 words)

philo 3 / 6  
Sep 21, 2016   #2
Hey, your essay is is very straight to the point and captivating. Good job. Here are some mistakes i noticed:
.... became a center of attraction
.... that prisoners are not a different species of human beings ; they are humans
Iedha01 21 / 40  
Sep 22, 2016   #3
Hi there,
Your writing is good and its topic is interesting,however, i found some mistakes. Let me share them with you,

-This is because people have realized that prisoners are not ...(this sentence is alittle bit awkward, try to pharaphrase it and make it clearly revealling your idea)

-ONE OF THE REASON IS PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY REALIZED THAT PRISONERS ARE NOT A DIFFERENT SPECIES OF HUMAN BEING: WE ARE JUST THE SAME.

... trust of criminals is A difficult and time consuming undertaking but WITHOUT TRUST there will be little progress.( you don't need to put A there, because you meant there an adjective, not a noun, After word WITHOUT, it must be VERB-ING)

-IT IS DIFFICULT TO GAIN THE CRIMINALS' TRUST BUT WITHOUT TRUSTING, THERE WILL BE ONLY A LITTLE PROGRESS


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