Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Summary --- How Exercise Helps You Age Better


fox19 /  
Sep 28, 2016   #1
The benefits of physical activity for older people usually only helps them to avoid injuries and disability; Physical activity can also include a quick recovery after injury. Other benefits of physical activity are to keep the heart, mind and body to stay healthy.

Internal Medicine published a study in Annals, researchers led by Dr. Thomas Gill, professor of medicine at Yale University School of Medicine, followed more than 1,600 older people. Half of them began training regimens such as walking and strength and balance, and at the end of the study, the results are clear: people who exercise have a faster recovery time injuries by about 25%. "The benefit was not just limited to Preventing initial onset of disability but was Also effective in promoting recovery after a disability," says Gill. "Then, once the recovery occurred, the intervention was effective in Preventing subsequent episodes of disability."

Most previous studies see the benefits of this exercise is only focused on whether physical activity can prevent disability. The new results show that exercise can also help them to spend time with useful activities. This exercise can work to make them fitter and stronger, therefore more able to bounce back after an injury such as a fall or illness. That means they may be able to recover faster if they suffered injury to their health.

Cachaaaaaaaa 28 / 38 3  
Sep 28, 2016   #2
HI Fox 19...
here some corrections for you :)

''such as walking and strength and balance ( too many 'And', besides you may use 'and' for the same word classes, such us ((noun AND noun / book and pencil))

study, the results are were clear:

who exercised have a faster recovery time

This exercise can work to make them fitter more fit and stronger

anyway, you can replace Older people with elderly people to be looked more polite

Best wishes
fauziyahtami 22 / 38 6  
Sep 28, 2016   #3
Helo fox,
You've done great. I had some suggest for you

==> ... for older people usually only helps help them to avoid ...
==> ... initial onset of disability but was also effective in promoting ...
==> ... in Preventing subsequent episodes of disability." (Gill continued )
==> ... that exercise can also help them to spend time with useful activities.
==> ... recover faster if they suffered (an ) injury to their health.

Good luck and keep fighting :)
Best Regards, Tami
Iedha01 21 / 40  
Sep 29, 2016   #4
Hi there,
Let me to give you some suggestions,

-... helps them to avoid INJURIES and DISABILITY; Physical activity can also...

=you suppose to make it parallel, INJURIES AND DISABILITIES

-Half of them BEGAN training regimens such ...

=you should pay attention in your diction, it suppose to be "GOT" because BEGAN is not apprioprate there.


Home / Writing Feedback / Summary --- How Exercise Helps You Age Better