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(Summary Article) Why Mark Zuckerberg Is Fortune's Businessperson of the Year


alfinkurnia 33 / 47  
Nov 15, 2016   #1
Facebook, one of the most enormous company was surprised people in the world. Because the chairman, Mark Zuckerberg became fortune's businessperson of the year. Facebook which had 16.000 employess and got annual revenues almost $27 billion in 2016, with profit approximately $7 billion. In past, facebook perhaps only small business which built by drop out people. Nevertheless, now had been the biggest company in the world particulary in media and advertisement. The company has estimated to be worth $350 billion. In consequence, mark became one of the richiest man in the world and winner many award of business. He has inspired most of people. In comparison, he leader his company started since build until now. On other hand, Larry Page as chairman and CEO of alphabet, didn't leader google before different with mark. Why did he can become good businessperson? he said you must have ablity to see the world, consistency, and discipline

akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Nov 15, 2016   #2
Facebook, one of the most enormous company COMPANIES was MAKES surprised people SURPRISED in the world. Because the chairman, Mark Zuckerberg became BECOMES fortune's businessperson of the year. Facebook which had HAS(This is a fact so that you are supposed to harness the simple present tense) 16.000 employess EMPLOYEES (Avoid misspelling) and got annual revenues almost $27 billion in 2016, with profit approximately $7 billion. In THE past, facebook WAS perhaps only small business which built by drop out chair. Nevertheless, now THE COMPANY had HAVE been the biggest company in the world,particulary PARTICURLALY in media and advertisement. The company has estimated to be worth $350 billion. In consequency CONSEQUENT, mark became Mark BECOMES one of the richiest RICHEST man MEN in the world and winner many awardS of business. He has inspired most of people. In comparison, he IS A leader his company started since build until now. On THE other hand, Larry Page as chairman and CEO of alphabet, didn't DID NOT (Never ever ever use contraction in the formal writing) leader google before different with mark. Why did he can become good businessperson? he said you must have ablity ABILITY to see the world, consistency, and discipline.

Note: Please, before you upload your summary, you should reread to diminish your misspellings.
Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 15, 2016   #3
Hi, let me give some suggestions for you, perhaps useful.
1.In comparison, he is a leader in his company started since builded until now.
2. Onthe other hand, Larry Page as chairman and CEO of alphabet, didn't did not leader google before different with ( wrong collocation) mark
3.he said thatyou we( because mark gives us the his advice) must have ablity (miss spelling word, ability) to see the world, consistency, and discipline.

4. In the past, F acebook perhaps only small business which built by drop out chair
5. employess --->employes
6. richiest -----> richest
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Nov 15, 2016   #4
Hi Alfin,
Here's my inputs and remarks towards your article summary. I hope you can follow through.

- Facebook, one of the most enormous companybiggest companies , was surprised people in the world.
- This is because the chairman of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, became Fortune's businessperson of the year.
- Facebook which hadhas 16.000 employessemployees and gotearns annual revenues for almost $27 billion in 2016, with profit at approximately $7 billion.
- In past, Facebook perhaps only small business which built by drop out peopleuneducated person .
- Nevertheless, it now had beenhas become the biggest company in the world, particularyparticularly in media and advertisement.
- The company has been estimated to be worth $350 billion.
- In consequence, Mark became one of the richiestrichest man in the world and winnerwon many award of business awards .

As you can see, most errors were related to spelling, grammatical range and accuracy. Try to be more careful next time :)
Abrahamlincoln 54 / 56  
Nov 16, 2016   #5
Facebook, is one of (...) which was one of the most enormous company was surprised ...

Because of that, Because the chairman, Mark Zuckerberg has become became fortune's businessperson of the year in 2016(when) .

Facebook which had 16.000 employees and earned got annual revenues...

In past, facebook wasperhaps only small business which wasdeveloped bybuilt bystudent who drooped out from Harvard University.drop out people.

Nevertheless, it has been now had been the biggest company (...) and advertisement service .
yurikeyuri 43 / 61 2  
Nov 16, 2016   #6
Hello Alfin, let me give my correction for you

Facebook, one of the most enormous company...I think you rewrite in this formthe one of the most enormous companies, Facebook, was surprised people in the world

winner many awards of business (you must add letter s because many is indicate the plural)

He has inspiredhad been the most of people.

he leaderlead his company which started since build until now. (this sentence needs verb lead not leader, and the connector "which" to connect two sentence together)

thank you Alfin
NinaJoesuf25 36 / 66 4  
Nov 16, 2016   #7
here some advice for your writing,

Facebook BECOME one of the most enormouBIGGEST company was ...
IT IS Because the chairman, Mark Zuckerberg, (PUT COMMA HERE) became THE fortune's businessperson of the year. Facebook which had 16.000 employess...
In pastBY THE TIME , facebook perhapsont#0000FF]IS only small business which built by drop out people. Nevertheless, IT now hadHAS been the biggest company ...

... man in the world and , FORTUNATELY, winner many ...
In comparison,(THERE IS NO COMPARISON HERE) . he leaderLEADS his company started ...
OnTHE other hand, Larry (...) CEO of alphabet, didn'tDID NOTDO NOT USE ABREVATION HERE leader google ...
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Nov 16, 2016   #8
Hi Alfin, below are my thoughts on your essay.

- washas surprised people in the world.
- Because theThe Chairman, Mark Zuckerberg
- became fortune'sFortune 500's businessperson
- revenues of almost $27 billion in 2016,
- In past, facebook perhaps onlyFacebook was a small business which was built by drop out peoplestudents .
- Nevertheless, now, had been the biggestNeedless to say, thecompany has become one ofin the worlds biggest company, particulary
- In consequence, markfollowing this event, Mark became
- and winnerwon many business award of business.

There you have it Alfin, I hope the above remarks are helpful to your revision and as usual I left a few sentences for you to practice writing and hone your skills in writing.
ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Nov 16, 2016   #9
hello alfin
I have some corrections for you
hope it works

Facebook is one of the most enormous companycompanieswas surprisedsurprising people in the world.

... Mark Zuckerberg becames fortune's businesspersonbusinessman of the year.

Facebook which had 16.000<<< be careful to use dot since it means comma in our country

In the past, facebook perhaps only small business which was built by drop out people.

Nevertheless, now it had been (...) in the world particularyparticularly in media and advertisement.

... became one of the richiestrichest man in the world ...

thanks
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Nov 17, 2016   #10
Facebook, one of the most enormous company COMPANIES was HAS surprised people in the world.
*singular/plural issue
*should not use passive. ruin the meanin
g

Because the chairman, Mark Zuckerberg became fortune's businessperson of the year.hard to understand. may you want to say : as a result, Mark Zuckerberg, the chairman, has become a fortunate business person of the year

Facebook whichhad HAS 16.000 employess and got GETS annual revenues FOR Falmost $27 billion in 2016, with profit approximately $7 billion PROFIT. In THE past, facebook perhaps WAS only A small business which IS built by drop out people. Nevertheless, now IT had HAS been the biggest company ...

The company has BEEN estimated to be worth AS $350 billion. ..... THERE TOO MANY ERRORS ON THE REST OF YOUR SUMMARY. YOU NEED TO CONCERN ON IT AND REVISE IT IF YOU WANT TO ENHANCE YOUR SKILL
Wilyaftika23 46 / 37 1  
Nov 19, 2016   #11
Facebook, one of the most enormouscompany(biggest companies has)was surprised people in the world. (this is ) Because the chairman(of facebook) , Mark Zuckerberg became...

Facebook which had(has) 16.000 employess(employees) and got(earns) annual revenues (for) almost $27 billion in 2016, with profit(at) approximately $7 billion.
... which built by drop out people(uneducated person) . Nevertheless, (it) now had been(has become) the biggest company in the world particulary(particularly) in media and advertisement. The company has(been) estimated to ...


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