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Article Summary : 'Moana', not your typical Disney Princess


nda18 46 / 81 9  
Nov 22, 2016   #1
Walt Disney, as the largest animation studio company, released their newest animation titled Moana. The director, Ron Clements and John Musker, said that Moana comes from Motunui as a daughter of a mystical-Polynesian-island chief. The character of Moana is described as an obedient daughter who tried to ignore her strong desire. In this film, Moana has a conflict with herself regarding to what she will choose between listening to her father and following her heart. In a stark contrast to other Disney princess who has funny sidekick animal and an adventure, Moana's adventure happens because she creates her own fate. From Moana many life lessons can be learned by both adults and children.

thejakartapost

harveysui2 4 / 6 3  
Nov 22, 2016   #2
Your summary is good and well written. My comment is you said "the director" but listed two persons; correct that simple error.
NinaJoesuf25 36 / 66 4  
Nov 22, 2016   #3
Hi Nurul,

1. The director, Ron Clements and John Musker, said that Moana comes from Motunui as a ...I think it is better if you mentioned who is Roy and John instead of who the director is.

Ron Clements and John Musker, as directors, said that Moana comes...


... as an obedient daughter who triedtries to ignore ...
... with herself regarding to what she will choose between ...
In a stark contrast to this, other Disney princess who hasis funny sidekick animal ...
Holt - / 7,527 2001  
Nov 22, 2016   #4
Nda, you should have made some mention about the conflict in the movie that led to the adventures of Moana. This was clearly explained and pointed out in the article that you read. Also, each character in the movie, important characters related to her adventure both on and off the island were mentioned. You should have detailed the supporting characters as well. More importantly, you did not mention the demigod who helped Moana during her adventure and also helped to present a lesson in the story. In order to properly depict the summary of the article, all of these elements need to have been present. You also need to pay attention to the plural form of words, anytime you mention 2 people who do the same work, such as the men who helmed this movie, you should use the plural form. Hence director should have been directors.
alfinkurnia 33 / 47  
Nov 23, 2016   #5
Hello this is my correction for you, feel free to correction me too.

... animation studio company, releasedlaunched their newest ...

... between listening to her father andor following her heart.

My tips for you, please using grammar, preposition and conjuction carefully, and using uncommon vocabulary is better than only common vocabulary, you can find in dictionary about that.

Thankyou


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