Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Summary Article : In the Netherlands, Empty Prisons Become Homes for Refugees


andika08 81 / 80 16  
Sep 17, 2016   #1
In The Netherlands there was an empty prisons. It used for imigrants because their number started to increased more than 50,000 based on the Central Agency for the Reception of Asylum Seekers in 2016. The facility public is closed because the crime rate and prison populations decreased. There were a photographer Muhammed Muheisen, two-time Pulitzer Prize winner and Associated Press chief photographer for the Middle East, had devoted the past few years to photographing the refugee crisis as people move across. He captured images of people there. Refugees were not allowed to worked, but they practiced to spoke the Dutch language and learned to rode bicycles. In Netherlands both skills were essential to lived. One of the refugees said if the country had no prisoners to put in jail that effects for the inhabitans who felt comfortable and became the safest country in the world.

fadhilmd25 41 / 75 11  
Sep 17, 2016   #2
Dear Andika, here are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct me,

In The Netherlands there was an empty prisons . --> / there were empty prisons

It is used for imigrants becauseas their numbers started to increased -->

There were a photographer Muhammed Muheisen--> There was

had devoted the past few years to photographing ... -->

Had devoted since few years ago by taking photographs of the refugee who moved across (?)--> (?) means move to where ?

essential to lived --> to live

hope it helps you to improve your essay,

Regards
dils 20 / 33 2  
Sep 18, 2016   #3
Hi Andhika,

Nice topic, however, as read your writing here some suggestions for you.

1. an empty prisons . The article "an" means singular, so it should be prison.

2. to increased

3. facility public [public facility]

3. There werewas a photographer Muhammed Muheisen

4. had devoted [has been devoting] the past few years to photographing

5. Refugees were not allowed to worked

Over all, please check your part of speech, subject-verb agreement, and the flow ideas through the passage. Don't forget to conclude your writing at the end of the passage.

One paragraph should be contained by one main idea and the explanation. Try to elaborate your writing from the very general into the detail.

Good luck.


Home / Writing Feedback / Summary Article : In the Netherlands, Empty Prisons Become Homes for Refugees