Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

ARTICLE SUMMARY: Playboy Features Muslim Woman in Hijab For First Time Ever


Iedha01 21 / 40  
Sep 29, 2016   #1
The 22-year-old Arab-American revealed her goal is to become the first hijabi news presenter on commercial TV in America .In fact, this October, Noor Tagouri has become the first hijab-wearing woman to be featured in Playboy's 63- year history. She is totally broke the rules which shows the reality that this adult magazine no longer includes uncensored images or sexist establishment , but makes the revolutionary to reward women and enlighten many people outsides. However, her appearance in Playboy becomes controversial among Muslim community. She tell playboy readers " Live your life as your trust self and encourage others to do the same and continue to break barriers and glass ceilings, then , reclaim our power". Indeed, she made a choice to join forces with a sexiest establishment that has debase other women by reducing them to sexual objects for generations.

Sari Trisna 7 / 11  
Sep 29, 2016   #2
Hi iedha01..
Let me give you some advice...

She tells playboy readers " Live your life ...

Good Job..
I hope it is helpful..
PHA2016 39 / 62 4  
Sep 29, 2016   #3
Hello Iedha,

... revealed her goal is to become to the first hijabi news ...
She is totally brokebreaking the rules which shows the reality that this ...
... with a sexiest establishment that which was debase other women by ...

NB: pay attention to your punctuation

Hope these help
Aris05 31 / 24 1  
Sep 29, 2016   #4
Hi iedha, here is my thought

She ishas totally broken the rules which shows the reality that ...

no longer includesing uncensored images...

She tells playboy readers

she mademakes a choice to join forces with a sexiest ...

That's it. i wish it could be help
Best regard
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Sep 29, 2016   #5
The 22-year-old Arab-American WOMAN revealed THAT her goal is to become the first...
In fact, this October, Noor Tagouri, THE WAY SHE CALLED , has become the first ..
She is totally broke the rules which showsBY SHOWING the reality that this adult (...) but makes the revolutionary MOVEMENT to reward women and ...
... controversial among Muslim community.COMMUNITIES . She tellTALKED TO playboy readers " Live ...

Indeed, she made a choice to join forces with a sexiest establishment ...

Indeed, her chosen to be appeared on a sexy magazine that has its fame by portraying women as sexual objects for generations is in public world eyes

hope this can help. good luck


Home / Writing Feedback / ARTICLE SUMMARY: Playboy Features Muslim Woman in Hijab For First Time Ever