Every company needs to grow so the owner ignores for not getting any profit. There is real solution to make superiority growth of business. Both of them, would discuss to be clearly.
Actually, the important is the balance between two activities, they are exploration and exploitation. Firstly, exploration is about what is going on or what is new. Today-what is the new products and what is the new innovations for changing future. We knew about people who had exploration, such as Neil Armstrong, Hillary. But we have to know if the exploration would make risky. Secondly, that is about exploitation-opposite with the first reason. Exploitation is taking for high information, facts, and data. At least, that is better for making good products faster than yet. Unfortunately, the big impact of exploitation is about risky would happen in long term than exploration, because firms exploit only.
In conclusion, however the corporation should balance with exploration and exploitation, even though this is hard to implementation on work.
Hi Halim, welcome to EssayForum :)
I would like to mention some of your weaknesses in order to help you strengthen and make them as your plus points.
- First, a summary doesn't need a well-crafted structure as like IELTS task 2 does. You don't need to properly state your introduction, main body paragraph and concluding paragraph. You can just come straight to the point, especially to the main issue that is discussed. Usually, it only needs 1 or 2 paragraphs for one article/video summary.
- Second, if talking about TED videos, you can see that there is a speaker who speaks to the audiences, including YOU. So, you need to write anything in the speaker's point of view. For instance, "Bill Gates in this TED Talk Video mentioned that ............." . At least, almost everything that you've summed up was his/her ideas. You need to learn more about direct vs indirect citation / quotation.
- Third, this is also the weakness for some people who are failed to present clear paragraphs building. You need to know that at least you have to give 1 space (1 enter) for each paragraph in order to ease the reader / examiner in reading or correcting your essay.
There you have it Halim, I hope my feedback would be beneficial towards your next practice later on. Good luck :)
Every company needs to grow so the owner ignores for not getting any profit.
There is [need article] a real solution to make superiority growth of business. = a superiority of business growth/ a superior growthof business
Both of them, would discuss to be clearly.
you are writing summary that means you are trying to rewrite the important facts/main ideas of this article, so you do not need to give a bridge into your writing. focusing your work on presenting a powerful summary using paraphrased sentence which does not alter the article meaning/information
Actually, the important is the balance between two activities, they are exploration and exploitation. = actually, the most important thing is the balance between two activities, exploration and exploitation/ the most important thing is the balance between the exploration and exploitation activity
substantially, it needs at least a subject, verb and object in a sentence. when you write two or more verb you need to use conjunction. make a short but valuable sentence by losing unimportant redundancy or word
Firstly, exploration is about what is going on or what is new. Today-what is the new products[singular/plural issue] and what is the new innovations for changing future.
We knew about people who had [need article AN] exploration, such as Neil Armstrong, Hillary.and Hillary [need comma] But we have to know if the exploration would make riskybe risky/make some risks.
Secondly, that is about exploitation-opposite with the first reason. =which is the opposite of the first reason
Exploitation is taking for high information, facts, and data. At least, t hat is better for making good products faster than yet.
Unfortunately, the big impact of exploitation is about risky the risk would happen pose in [need article] long term than exploration, [no comma needed ]because firms exploit only.
In conclusion, howeve r the corporation should balance with exploration and exploitation, [no need comma] even though this is hard to implementation be implemented on work.
