Unanswered [22] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


TED Summary - Rory Steart: Time to end the war in Afghanistan


Abrahamlincoln 54 / 56  
Oct 7, 2016   #1
Rory Steart: Time to end the war in Afghanistan

The war in Afghanistan has been existing for decades. However, Afghanistan does not to pose and existential threat to global security. It is extremely unlikely the Taliban would ever be able to take over the country and It is extremely unlikely that Al-Qaeda would significantly enhance its ability to harm the United States or harm Europe. Anyway, we need more people who are telling the truth, who know the current situation in Afghanistan. We should tell the truth to the united nation since they only have little idea of what is going on over there.

Over the last 10 years, several amazing improvements developed such as within six months there were two and a half million more girls in school and There were 14 health clinics in that area alone.

Source: youtube
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Oct 8, 2016   #2
The war in Afghanistan has been existing for decades.
However, Afghanistan does not to pose and existential threat to global security. CONFUSING SENTENCE
=what occurs in Afghanistan do not seem like existential threats to global security

It is extremely unlikely the Taliban (...) the country and It is extremely unlikely that JUST LIKE IT IS IMPOSSIBLE THAT Al-Qaeda would (...) harm the United States or harm Europe.

We should tell the truth to TO SPEAK IN the united nation since ...
... amazing improvements HAVE BEEN developed such as (...) million more girls ATTENDING school and T WHILE there were 14 health clinics BUILT in that area alone.

OVERALL, YOU NEED TO CONCERN ON THE WAY YOU COMPOSE SENTENCE. PAY ATTENTION ON ACCURACY AND SENTENCE COMPLETION WHILE ALSO DELIVERING THE MEANING CLEARLY AND UNDERSTANDABLY.


Home / Writing Feedback / TED Summary - Rory Steart: Time to end the war in Afghanistan
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳