We are now building cities, bringing people out of the poverty, and changing climate as we understand that sustainability is from a nice-to-do to the a must-do. Every business should have positive impacts to the world.
Firstly, a vast majority of people have cared about sustainable issues in the easy, affordable and attractive which it is relied on the company. From this basis, company and buyer can cooperate to create and consume the viable innovation products.
The next swing raw materials which are based on recycle products must be used as our resources and then business people are independent on natural raw material which will reach the zero waste targets.
The operations, furthermore, can be altered into natural energy such as solar panel that reduces a great deal of pollution in out ecosystem.
Afterwards, it is about humanity. With no child labour, we apprehend to support better quality of children where we protect the right of children and improve their life. In addition, closing the gap of gender in which women should participate and we open the network for women is a great path to the decent future preventing poverty.
If you are a business leader, you have think about what you should do to bear the sustainability system into your business model. If you are consumer, you must be discerning people who choose the products coming to this way as well. We are able to help create sustainable world
which are based on recycle products this is my suggestion to erase this extra information.
as 'because' is better as a transition signal for your sentence.
You overused passive voice sentences
impacts to impact on (preposition)
from a nice-to-do to the a must-do what do you want to say?
you have think 2 verbs
Hii rizaldohabibie.. Here I give you some comments. Hope it can helps you.
We are now building cities('we are' means people. so, be careful to use the words) , bringing people out of the poverty, (...) is from a nice-to-do to the a must-do (Pay attention to the redundant words, in this sentence you have an extra article in this sentence. Consider deleting the or a) .
... have positive impacts toon(inappropriate colocation) the world.
Suggestion sentence:
==> In this cutting-edge era, climate change and poverty is the crucial issue that really needs to solve directly. Thus, this is our task to give the real positive actions such sustainable ways as well.
Firstly, ...... , affordable and attractive which it is relied on the company . ==> to make it passive, your sentence should be: relies on the company or has relied on the company. Because the intransitive verb is an action verb that will not take an object.
... which are based on recyclerecycling(after the preposition on is V+ing) products must be used ...
.... energy such as A solar panel that reduces a great ...
With no child children's labour, we apprehend to support A better quality of children ..
If you are a business leader, you have TO think about what you ... If you are A consumer, you must be discerning people who choose the products coming to this way as well.
==> pay attention for some word that really needs an article.
I have a tendency to say that We are able to help create ...
Keep writing :)
