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Summerize the information from the diagram to describe the production of milk


yenchauhoang 1 / 1  
May 12, 2019   #1

Cow's milk - manufacturing process



The diagram illustrated the process in manufacturing milk through different stages. It can be seen that the production of milk is not only various but also complicated.

Initially, cows are grazed by famers before being milked mechanically. Milking cows is the most crucial step because it affects a lot to the quality of final products. Afterward, milk, which is extracted from the cows, is reserved in refrigeration storage and then delivered by a truck to a factory in order to proceed the next steps. At the next phase of the production, milk is pastaurized and sterilized not only by state-of-the-art machines but also in a suitable temperature and environment so as to ensure the quality of milk. Afterthat, milk is transported to a dairy to classify into various products such as cheese cream, butter and so on. The process finishes when those products are packaged fossily and delivered to supermarkets and shops for sale.

Overall, the production of milk is carried out cautiously so as to satisfy customers who want to use the most qualified products.

Maria [Contributor] - / 479 214  
May 12, 2019   #2
@yenchauhoang
Next time that you ask for feedback, it would be beneficial if you could also attach the diagram to help give appropriate input on your writing. Nonetheless, here are a couple of key inputs on your writing.

Watch out for your phrasing and usage of preposition and quantifiers. I would suggest using more appropriate ones to ensure that your essay would have more of a flow.

Moreover, I would also recommend that you try to create simpler sentence structures to ensure that you are not leaving behind any vital information (could potentially be lost in translation if you would not be careful of the way you put out your words).

Evade being repetitive as well with the transition words that you use. Doing this will greatly benefit your overall content because (1) you'll save space and (2) optimize the space that you have to ensure that you use this for substantial content.

Let's revise your essay by bits.

The diagram illustrates the process in milk manufacturing in different stages. Both the complexity and variety of its production is observed.

[...] Milking is a crucial step because it affects the quality of the final product. Afterwards, milk extracted is reserved in refrigeration and delivered by a truck to a factory. [...]


Keep these in mind as you are revising! Best of luck!
OP yenchauhoang 1 / 1  
May 18, 2019   #3
I extremely thank for your help


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