Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Super Rod - Essay about a super hero, I have a plot.

deniece 1 / 1  
Jun 10, 2008   #1
It has to be descriptive, about a super hero, and have a plot. I am just not sure if the allergy is a plot or if the electrocution is. It is due June 12, 08

Super Rod: My Fictitious Super Hero

Super Rod is not your typical super hero; the fact that he is allergic to spandex is one example of that. Fighting crime and saving lives is his number one passion, but his love for old cars is a very close second this is just another example of what sets him apart from all the rest. The thought of a car with potential going to the crusher is something that really bothered him. He knew there were teenagers out there that not only wanted a car, but also needed a car for taking their family members to the doctor and grocery store. He also knew that they would love and take care of a car, if they were only able to get one.

Super Rod is a big, and tender hearted super hero. Looking at him as, a man in general, you would never guess that he is a super hero or has a love for old cars and restoring them to factory condition. He is CEO of a large electronics company and is always wearing a suit and tie thru the week. On weekends he didn't dress down very much either. He is usually in Khakis and a golf shirt or a crisp ironed long sleeved button down. If you ever saw him in jeans he would have on a crisp ironed long sleeved button down.

Super Rod, whose given name is Marvin Hunt, is 6' 3" and weighs about 175 pounds. He has brown hair, hazel eyes, and a medium complexion. He is well toned and works out on a regular basis in his home gym next to his indoor swimming pool.

As a child, Marvin had to take care of his disabled mother. His father had left them when he was still very young and his mothers' disability check was barely enough to pay the bills and buy groceries. Marvin would mow their neighbors' lawn in exchange for them taking him and his mom to the grocery store, to pay the bills and to take his mother for her regular doctor visits every month, since they could not afford a car. At a young age, Marvin knew that he wanted to make a difference in the lives of kids who were going thru the same situation that he had gone through.

When Marvin was a teenager, he had been working on their water, trying to find a leak, and had to dig up the water line. Once he found the leak in the line he began to dig a large enough hole so that he could splice the line. He hit what he thought was a root with the shovel and hit it several more times to try to break it into. He almost had it cut into and decided he would grab it and pull it up. The hole had water in the bottom and when Marvin reached into the hole his fingers hit the water just as his hand hit what he thought was a root. The next thing he knew he is waking up in the hospital. He learned that he had grabbed an underground power line that the previous owners had run to an outbuilding instead of a root.

From the time Marvin woke up in the hospital after his accident, he began to notice several differences in himself. He could hear people from miles away calling for help and somehow knew exactly where they were. As he got older, he had the urge to help these people and he came to realize that he could be there in a matter of seconds to help them and during this time, he also found out that he was extremely strong. He started going places where he could be alone to test his strength and try to find out just how strong he really was. He found that he was strong enough to lift a train car with one hand and hold it over his head with ease. That is the heaviest thing that he has lifted, although he would like to try to lift a large airplane over his head.

Marvin never told anyone of the strange, yet exciting, powers that he has as a result of the accident. He decided he would keep that information to himself and use it to make a difference in the lives of people. Since he has such a love of old cars, he decided to call himself Super Rod. His next big decision would be to decide what his super hero outfit would look like. He needed something that is easily concealed under his business suit and everyday clothes. In order to keep his identity secret he has to make his own outfits. But he had one big problem, he was allergic to spandex. So instead of the normal super hero outfit, he had to choose something different. He finally decided on using 100% cotton. He chose the colors red and black. He decided not to go with a cape; he felt that is too cliché. His pants are a red with tire tracks down the outside of the legs. His shirt is also red with tire tracks up the side, under the arm and down the sleeve. The front of his shirt has an image of a silver big block motor with his name over it in red outlined with black. His belt is made from fabric like a checkered flag and has a steering wheel as a buckle.

Super Rod has saved many lives since his accident and helped capture many criminals. He is most proud of the cars that he has salvaged and restored to give to teenagers who are taking care of family members. This enables those teenagers to enjoy life a little bit as a teenager and not have to spend all of their spare time working to earn rides to doctor visits and to the grocery store. They have more freedom and are not dependent on other people for transportation. He always tries to get Camaro's, as this is his favorite model of car.

Marvin, better known as Super Rod, has always felt things happen for a reason. Although sometimes he longs to have a normal life like everyone else, he knows that he has these special powers so he can make a difference not only in the lives he saves, but in the lives of those teenagers who might get to be a teenager if it weren't for him.

EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Jun 11, 2008   #2
The biggest thing I can see with your essay is your tense confusion; you started out in past tense, switched to present tense, and then fell back intermittently into past tense. Choose a tense and stick to it all the way through an essay consistently.

The plot is a scheme or plan to do something; neither the electrocution or the allergy is your plot here. The closest thing you have to a plot is his love for restoring the old cars to help teenagers.

I hope this helps you.
OP deniece 1 / 1  
Jun 11, 2008   #3
Thanks a lot!! I really appreciate your help. Staying in a certain tense is a problem that I can't seem to shake for some reason.

Anyway, thanks again.

EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Jun 11, 2008   #4
You are very welcome. As long as you are aware that tense is an issue for you, you know to look out for it. If you have time, a good suggestion is to put your essay away for a day or two; don't peek at it, don't adjust it, just leave it be. After that separation time, come back to it and reread it; things like tense switches will just jump out at you!

Good luck!

Home / Writing Feedback / Super Rod - Essay about a super hero, I have a plot.