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IELTS TASK 1 : SURVEY SHOPPING CENTER


aseprudi 20 / 29 16  
Jul 9, 2015   #1
The tables and pie chart show in percentage terms the results of a survey of a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand.
Answer:

A comparison regarding the result of a survey of novel shopping places in Auckland, New Zealand is revealed on the table and pie chart. What stands out from the data reveals that while the proportion of male experiences lower than female in dissatisfied in restaurant, female accounts for higher figure as very satisfied in both shops and restaurant. It also can be seen that the design shows satisfied as the higher percentage.

According to the data, the figures of people who feel satisfied on the design of restaurant and shops centre are higher than others. The percentage shows 62 percent of people. Looking for more detail, the percentage of male is considerably higher than female in both shops (45 percent) and restaurant (more than a half). Standing in contrast, the figure experiencing dissatisfied is lower, which is solely one in ten. In this case, the proportion of male and female have an equal number (20 percent) in shopping area and in restaurant, the percentage of female shows higher than male which is at 21 percent.

The percentage of people experiencing very satisfied is only 17 percent of overall. In this area, the figure of female is more dominant than male. In addition, people who do not offer comment is only 11 percent in which female is higher in restaurant and male is popular in shopping centre.

shintacandrade 10 / 74 87  
Jul 9, 2015   #2
Hi Asep,
Your writing is good, but I have some corrections which may help you.

1. Well, you need to upload the graph so that the readers can providing meaningful feedback for your writing.

2. Be careful of using synonyms. "new" and "novel" have the same or nearly the same meaning, but used to give different meanings.

A comparison regarding the result of a survey of novel shopping places in Auckland,

I do not think that "new" here can be replaced by "novel" as novel is used with these nouns: approach, concept, context, feature, finding, idea, insight, method, phenomenon, situation, type (© Oxford University Press, 2009).

3. I suggest you to write "males" and "females", or "men" and "women" (the plural form).

4.

the proportion of male experiences lower than female in dissatisfied in restaurant,

Allow me to rewrite it: males express less dissatisfied than females with the restaurants

5.

It also can be seen that the design shows satisfied as the higher percentage.

Who is satisfied? the design or the shoppers (females-males)?. You may want to write something like: It also can be seen that the majority of both sexes are pleased with the new design.

6.

the figures of people who feel satisfied on the design of the restaurant and shops centreshopping complex are higher than others, representing over three-fifths of all shoppers. The percentage shows 62 percent of people.

7.

In this case, the proportion of male and female have an equal number (20 percent) in shopping area and in restaurant, the percentage of female shows higher than male which is at 21 percent.

This sentence is bit confusing. I come up with another idea of it: Equal numbers (20 percent) of both sexes show they are unhappy with the shops. Meanwhile, only one in twenty of males are displeased with the restaurants compared to just over a fifth of females.

Good luck. Cheers!


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