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The table informs the figure of scholars who attend Secondary school


rizaldohabibie 19 / 35  
Sep 29, 2016   #1
IELTS writing task 1: Secondary School Attendance

The table informs the figure of scholars who attend Secondary school in different four types during one decade from 2000 to 2009. Overall, it is noticeable that community school is the one which increased dramatically among all of school categories that had tendencies to go down or just stagnant.

Community schools stood up at 12% as the lowest starting point. Afterwards, the proportion doubled in the middle of the decade and then these schools ended at the highest point in a half per cent. In contrast, Specialist Schools which had a same number as community schools in the beginning gradually decreased along the years and closed at one in ten.

Apart from the previous comparison, Grammar Schools and voluntary-controlled Schools seemed down gradually where the bigger decline was Voluntary-controlled Schools at 20% in the 2009 that was almost twice lower than the beginning point. Afterwards, Grammar School noted a gradual downward trend above ten per cent from 24% in 2000 to 20% in the closing year.




erwiin1 9 / 17  
Sep 29, 2016   #2
Hi, rizaldohabibie

Your essay is very good. I would give you suggestions:

1. Afterwards (Afterward ), the proportion doubled in the middle ...
2. Specialist Schools which had a same (the same ) number as (number of ) community schools in the beginning gradually decreased along (decreased over ) the years and closed at one in ten.

3. ... Voluntary-controlled Schools at 20% in the 2009 (in 2009 )
4. Afterwards (Afterward ), Grammar School noted a gradual downward ...

Thank you


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