Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS writing task 1: a table about poverty rates among Australian.


Banshee611 2 / 4 1  
Mar 23, 2014   #1
The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph reveals information about the poverty rates among different types of Australian households in 1999.

It can be seen that people with children were better off than those without children, and single people were less likely to be poor than couples. This rate was exponentially lower among elderly people.

Overall, 1,837,000 Australians (11%) were living in poverty in 1999. Among parents, about 21% of single parents were poor whereas those with children only made up for 12%. The same trend can be seen for people with no children: the figure for single people living below the poverty line was considerably higher than the one for couple, 19% and 7% respectively. Aged people were the least likely to be poor, only 6% for single and 4% for couple.




dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 23, 2014   #2
The graph reveals information about the poverty rates among different types of Australian households in 1999.

... good introduction :)

It can be seen thatOverall, the people with children were better off than those without children, and single people were less likely to be poor than couples. This rate was exponentially lower among elderly people.

Well, you have improved remarkably from your last attempt. This is a very good essay and you follow the right structure too :)
OP Banshee611 2 / 4 1  
Mar 23, 2014   #3
Thank you, Dumi. I just want to ask if I use "Overall" in my second paragraph, can I change my third paragraph into "It can be seen that"?

Oh. It seems like I posted this thread in a wrong place. Can you move it for me to Writing feedback? Thank you.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 1: a table about poverty rates among Australian.