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IELTS 1: The table below shows different home appliances owned in Great Britain from 1972 to 1983.

ngominhchau0205 1 / 1  
Feb 27, 2023   #1
The given table demonstrates the proportion of durablles (telephone, refrigerator, etc) which were owned by consumers in UK in 8 years from 1972 to 1983.

Overall, it is clear that the highest percentages of households owned each year went on television, vacuum cleaner, refrigerator. On the other hand, the dishwasher has the lowest percentages in the table.

In the first four years, the figures of television and vacuum cleaner were the largest and experienced an upwards trend as 96% and 92% respectively. Moreover, the central heating, refrigerator, washing machine and telephone were matched by a roughly similar trend. The dishwasher was different with only 3% in 1978.

From 1979 to 1983, the proportion ò central heating, washing machine and telephone continuous increased to 64%, 80% and 77% respectively. However, the figures of television, refrigerator and dishwaher bucked the trend with leveling off in 2 years 1981 and 1982, then they went on experiencing a small rebound in 1983. The percentages of video just appeared only 18% in the last year.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,726 4511  
Feb 28, 2023   #2
the proportion of durablles (telephone, refrigerator, etc)

Several problems in relation to this paragraph. First, incorrect spelling of durables. Always spellcheck at the end of your draft writing. Incorrect spelling will not be accepted and will be deducted from your LR score. Second, an incomplete listing of the enumerated durables from the charts created an incomplete listing summary. The use of etc. lacks a period but regardless, it is not acceptable in formal English writing. Finally, the summary overview is a run-on sentence when it should be comprised of at least 3 sentences, based on the varying information shared in this paragraph.

Due to the incorrect summary overview, the trending statement has caused confusing references for the reader. It is important that a proper listing of all the information is presented in this paragraph to help lessen the confusion created by the summary paragraph.

the proportion ò

There is too much haphazard writing in this presentation. You are not even trying to present a clear essay at this point. Do not write just for the sake of completing the task. Show care and quality in your final presentation if you want to have a chance of passing this test.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS 1: The table below shows different home appliances owned in Great Britain from 1972 to 1983.