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{IELTS Task1} Table with Three Chart Model

ke362989724 1 / -  
Jul 24, 2017   #1
the pie charts illustrates the proportion of different countries(Others,China and Canada)exported fish to the US in 1988,1992 and 2000.Another table demonstrate the total money spent on the imported in the period shown.Unit measured billion of dollars.

Generally,Expenditure in Fish increased from 1988 in the US.In addition,Canada is the main import countries for the US's fish market in 1988.In contrast,China had the least fish imported to the US.However,4 years later,Canada was not the main import countries anymore,replaced by others countries around the World which excepted(China).In 2000,Canada market position even took over by China.Canada become the smallest supply in the US.

In 1988,Almost 7 billion dollars of fish were consumed by Americas.4 years later which came to 1992,Expenditure had a noticeable rise,up to 8.52 billion dollars.10.72 billion dollars were used to purchase fish in 2000 .

In 1988,Canada dominated the fish market in the US,constituted 60%.Meanwhile,China and Others countries occupied 13% and 27% respectively.American prefer fish around in the World.Worldwide countries became the main imported countries in the US.The second highest were Canada.China is the least.In 2000,The sale of other countries had a slightly descended,down to 42%.In the meantime, China exported fish to the US have a exponentially ascended,up to 30%,which substituted the position of Canada in the US fish market.whereas,fish exported from Canada decreased even further.at 28%.

Please commend in essay and rate it.Thank you very much

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,828 2626  
Jul 24, 2017   #2
@ke362989724 The most likely score that you can get for this particular presentation is a 5. You score that highly because you did not overlook any of the given information in the chart. However, you cannot score higher than that because of the grammatical issues that your presentation has. You are not very careful when writing your statements. You fail to allow for a space between sentences, do not follow the capitalization rules, and your sentences are very difficult to decipher. All of these problems cause undue stress on the reader. The examiner would find it difficult to analyze your presentation and as such, he will end up lowering your overall score.

The more you try to develop complex sentences, the worse your sentence development gets. The next time that you present an essay for review here, try to use only simple sentences, that might improve your score because you are not trying to impress the examiner with your English vocabulary. You are just going to try to make yourself better understood. You also have a tendency to have run on sentences in each paragraph because you try to get around the 5 sentence maximum rule by using commas where periods should be placed. Don't do that. Just limit your discussion to 5 sentences per paragraph. Make sure you summarize the information from the chart in your presentation.

Speaking of summarizing information, while you did present that information in this essay, albeit a very problematically developed one, you placed the countries in a parenthesis when you were supposed to make those countries a part of the summary presentation. Never use a parenthesis to indicate major information, always work it into the actual essay presentation or risk losing points for doing that.

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