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We need to take an action - daily diet and physical activities to reduce the number of obese kids


binh 1 / -  
Apr 4, 2021   #1

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries.



Then-First Lady Michelle Obama, who is one of the most important pioneers in the United States to enhance human life, organised a public health campaign to reduce the overweight of children. She announced that: "Childhood obesity isn't some simple, discrete issue. There's no one cause we can pinpoint. There's no one program we can fund to make it go away. Rather it's an issue that touches on every aspect of how we live and how we work." There are two subjective causes of the out of fit children issue that may lead to a serious effect which needs to be solved in particular ways.

The first factor causing the overweight of children is bad eating habits. They prefer eating fast foods and sugary soft drinks than healthy foods. Lack of physical activities is the second factor encouraging this problem. Children interested in sedentary activities rather than go outside, so that they gain more weight adding to their obesity.

These significant reasons have begun showing up the bad effects on children's health which become more serious day by day.

As a consequence, being overweight does harm to the heart, liver leading to heart disease, diabetes. Some research proved that obese people have a higher risk of meeting disease more than fit people. Therefore, this issue should be solved as soon as possible.

To prevent this serious problem, parents should pay more attention to children's health such as plan a healthy diet for a day and encourage them to take up sports or outdoor activities. Besides that, the government also can propose some solutions to repulse this issue step by step. For instance, the government can limit junk drinks and fast foods advertisements which are directed to children's mind.

In conclusion, the overweight of children is not a simple issue that could be solved superficially. Therefore, we need to take an action to daily diet and physical activities to reduce the number of this issue.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,552 3449  
2 days ago   #2
The essay is based on your general knowledge about obesity and its effect on children. That is how the prompt paraphrase should have been presented, the reference to Michelle Obama along with her health program has nothing to do with the discussion. Why? This is not a research paper that requires you to offer information sources and verified information. This is based on a personal opinion. So the essay itself does not follow the correct format for the discussion. There is an overwriting in the essay that further pushed the essay farther from the original prompt requirements.

The essay need not have the quote from Mrs. Obama. You actually highlighted how you took more than 40 minutes to write this essay because of the researched quote and other data in the essay. All of which you cannot accomplish during the actual test. You need to be able to write using your own words and understanding of the proposed topic. This essay, though well researched, will not help you get a passing score in an actual test.


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