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IELTS: taking gap year has become one of the growing trends among students

wandelion 1 / 1  
Apr 1, 2018   #1
Do you think the advantages of taking gap year outweigh the disadvantages?

this one year off is appreciated

In recent years, taking gap year has become one of the growing trends among students. Although this decision may perform its advantages as a stable basement of student's future, it is a contentious issue as to whether it is worth for students to waste a year of their youth to take this halt. In my opinion, its drawbacks could never overshadow its benefits.

Firstly, taking one year off before going to university means that they accept to be left behind by their peers for one year of the career ladder. Particularly, they would still be a senior student while their friends may have graduated and out there strive to work hard for superior social position. However, students who spend gap year will be able to provide a stronger ground of persistence and resilience in their will. Since they have already earned several experiences, soft skills such as communicating, problem-solving, time-managing, schedule-planning or even survival skills through their gap year as an employee or a traveler; they are more likely to understand apparently about themselves, their aspiration and passion, which most students pledge to find out. Hence, as a result of their acknowledgment, students will turn out to be more confident to complete their tertiary at university without any hesitation, reluctant or inconsistency.

Secondly, students who decide to take a gap year are still basically high school graduates. Therefore, there are more possibilities for them to be deceived or even exploited by bad eggs for the fact that they are newbies to society. Moreover, if their wills are not strong enough to avoid and confront with darkness power of human's consciences, they may turn into immoral, cruel individuals as their decision take its tolls on their characteristics. Otherwise, if they possibly get over those challenges, there will be many chances for them to become successful in their future with the empirical skills they attain through the gap year and academic knowledge they comprehend at school.

In conclusion, despite some drawbacks in taking the gap year before the tertiary study, this one year off is appreciated because not only does it encourage students to be mature, but also provides them chances to have a closer look into current societies.

lanvt2811 3 / 6 3  
Apr 3, 2018   #2
Basically your writing is ok. But I suggest you have topic sentence at the beginning of the two body paragraphs which will help to orient the readers about the paragraph. Secondly, your third sentence in the first body paragraph is too long, which make reader tired .

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