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Ielts writing: taking a gap year or entering university as soon as possible ?


hvthoteen 16 / 44 4  
Jul 17, 2011   #1
What do you prefer: taking a gap year or entering university as soon as possible ?
My essay:
After finishing high school, many students choose to take a gap year while others decide to continue their study as soon as possible. Personally, I find taking a gap year more preferable. I can spend the time preparing for my future study, developing skills and enjoying myself. Therefore, i will spend a year before university experiencing the life instead of studying straight away.

Above all, study preparation is important. Attending university after high school really makes me confused with the choice which major to study. Meanwhile, taking a gap year helps me find out my most interest and, therefore, I can make the right choice. Also, I can accumilate necessary knowledge to support my future study. Consequently, my study efficiency will be raised. That is why I think a gap year is useful.

In addition, skills development is necessary. Taking a gap year brings me a chance to interact with various people, through which I can find the best way to communicate with every kind of people. As a result, my communication skill will be improved. Also, doing a part-time job in the gap year will develop my presentation and teamwork skills a lot. These skills will certainly support my study at university. From my perspective, skills development is one of the most advantages of taking a gap year.

Furthermore, the gap year is the best time to enjoy myself. If I attend university straight away, I can have more new friends and start a student life. However, I will experience these later. If I take a gap year, I can have more free time and do what I cannot do when I am at high school. Because I love travelling to new places, this time is really precious to me. I will also have time to do voluntary work to play a small part in helping ease some social problems. This benefit strongly convinces me of spending a year for experiences rather than attending university as soon as possible.

In conclusion, I agree that starting higher education right after high school has its own advantages. However, I prefer to take a gap year because it brings me not only future study preparation, necessary skills development but also valuable life enjoyment. I think this choice is best for me.

Can you comment based on ielts standard? i am trying to improve my ielts writing

the leaf ninja 9 / 28  
Jul 18, 2011   #2
Hi there buddy, your ideas were good, but the thing is you need a lot to improve to be honest.
I'm not an expert, I'm preparing for the IELTS too, but by reading your essay I can point out your most weakness is the lack of the ability to write in complex sentences.

Also, you repeated the words from the topic to say your ideas which cannot help you to earn high mark for the category VOCABULARY.

What I can suggest you to probably get a better essay is trying to check with your dictionary the synonyms of the key words from the topic and then rewrite the essay by using uncommon vocabularies.

I wish you best of luck.

Cheers
OP hvthoteen 16 / 44 4  
Jul 18, 2011   #3
thank so much for your comments. These website is really helpful to me
OP hvthoteen 16 / 44 4  
Jul 19, 2011   #4
Ef_Kenvin: can you rate my writing ?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Jul 20, 2011   #5
...the choice about which major to study.---I added ABOUT

Therefore, i will spend a year before university experiencing the life instead of studying straight away.

Don't make little errors, like not capitalizing "I"

Actually, though, your writing is nearly perfect. I see that Naruto has some advice about how to make it more complex and interesting, but I think your writing is ALREADY good enough to pass an English language test. I don't know how they score the writing, so I don't know how to rate it, but I want to mention that the English grammar is nearly perfect and the STRUCTURE of the essay is very good, too.

So... be confident!


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