Please help me with these two writing tasks
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives.
Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is said that taking risks brings us many benefits in both professional life and personal life will. However, it also has plenty of limitations.
First of all, it will cause huge losses if we make a failure, whereas, in personal life, the loss would not be much harmful. More specifically, just for a little error, people have to take responsibility not only for themselves but also for others such as colleagues, friends, family, and so on. And the consequence we have to bare is the loss of money, fame, the waste of time, and energy. Besides, from an economic point, failures from failing to overcome risks also harm society. While in personal life, failure due to risky decisions or situations, which gives an adverse effect on us, is even less hazardous.
On the other hand, we could receive some benefits thanks to taking risks. The very first example of this is that we can learn how to prepare for every situation. Under all circumstances, people will try to make every effort by thinking and even try to find more effective ways to deal with each failure. Secondly, accepting unsuccessful things in life helps us to be more responsible to ourselves, and to society, as well as to support the improvement of personal skills for later achievements. Fail does not mean the end, and if we overcome, we may get everyones' recognition and admiration.
In brief, there are both advantages and disadvantages to taking the risk. Everyone will have their own opinion but in my view, even though the benefits outweighed the drawbacks the sweet fruits that we can obtain after adventurous trips are worth the risk we try.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,447 4693
The prompt restatement is fully inapplicable to the original topic. It does not refer to the original discussion in any way. It actually presents a different topic focus because the original talks of the importance of taking risks, while the interpretation discusses benefits that risks bring to a person. It is discussing limitations when that is not the reference point of the discussion instruction. Therefore, the essay has not appropriately interpreted the first version of the presentation. It will not receive a passing accuracy score.
As for the discussion paragraph, the writer presents a confusing discussion that is difficult to follow. It should have 2 paragraphs that represent the 2 discussion topics previously indicated. There should be a complete discussion covering one paragraph for the personal consideration and a second one considering the professional aspect. The writer does not clearly represent these considerations in his idea development.
In the end, he indicates that there are both advantages and disadvantages, which runs counter to the single opinion discussion format for this type of question. It must not indicate that both sides are correct. It will be score based upon how well the writer explains the benefits or lack of benefits of one point of view. There are no passing merits for this essay presentation.
Basically, you are anwering with an off-topic essay. The prompt asked you to express your opinion evaluating whether there are more advantages or more disadvantages. You are just offering both in your two bodies, but you have yet evulated it. Not only in introduction but also lack of clarity of view in conclusion.
This leads to an unclear structuring. For instance, if you want to prove the advantages outweigh, you should write at least 3 advantages in the first body before writing 2 disadvanatges in the second one with some counter argument to show that the disadvanatages are not too much and can be solved.
This will help you substantiate your view better and suit what you were asked for in this type of essay.