Unanswered [13] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

IELTS Taks 1: Some college has agreed to check your house and pet while you are on vacations

aimal 1 / 3  
Sep 7, 2018   #1
A friend has agreed to look after your house and pet while you are on holiday.
Write a letter to your friend. In your letter
· give contact details for when you are away
· give instructions about how to care for your pet
· describe other household duties

Letter to a friend

Dear Ali,
As you know I am going to Islamabad for my holidays from 1st OCT to 20th OCT I will living with Saeed in there you can send me message or call any time on the Viber number. I have placed my contact number on sticky note kitchen door as I usually do.

Take care of jerry she takes milk twice a day morning and evening time. She likes fresh fruit cake in breakfast and evening as well. Don't worry about her bath she takes bath every day by herself.do not feed her without the schedule.

Water the flower and clean the kitchen every night. Don't leave any kind of cooked food in the kitchen it will make bad smell. One important thing is to pay the electric bill which is due by next week. Always lock the door and check it before leaving to the office.

See you soon
Your Aimal khan,
hoa123 2 / 2  
Sep 7, 2018   #2
1. "I will living with Saeed", i believe it should be I will be living with or I will live with
2. You need to check your punctuations
HanNguyen0510 18 / 40 17  
Sep 7, 2018   #3
Hi Aimal,
I have a few feedback regardless of your writing:

1/ I think your letter looks like an order letter more than a letter of seeking help from your friend. Most of the words that are using in your letter is a bare Verb, which related to order people to do something like a boss.

2/ In the 1st sentence, I think you need some conjunction in between sentences because they are too long and It causes me confused of reading.

3/ Your prompt is not clear enough to know how many words should you write in this email
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,742 3794  
Sep 8, 2018   #4
Aimal, this is more of a listing of duties you are ordering your friend to undertake rather than a request for a friend to do some of your duties while you are away. You have a problem using connecting words. You don't use the words and, be, where, a, and other connecting reference words. Which is why your grammar is not very good and your sentence structure is very poor in every line.

Another grammar issue is your problem with word capitalization. While you did capitalize the name of Saeed and Ali, you should have also capitalized the name Jerry, even if the name belongs to your pet. It is still a proper noun and needs to be written as such. You are also prone to redundancies. Asking your friend to feed the cat twice a day implies a morning and evening feeding unless otherwise specified. Your last sentence in that paragraph needs to be capitalized at the start.

You do not water a flower. You water THE flowers. FYI, you do not ever ask a friend to pay for your bills. That is something you do personally. Your last sentence is grammatically incorrect. It should read as :

Always lock the door and check all the locks in the house before leaving for the office.
OP aimal 1 / 3  
Sep 8, 2018   #5

thanks you very much. I really appreciate your cooperation. i will take care for these mistake next time.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Taks 1: Some college has agreed to check your house and pet while you are on vacations