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IELTS Taks 2 - People meet many obstacles on borrowing money from banks.


SuYper 4 / 10  
Mar 14, 2011   #1
Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up personal debts that they may be unable to repay. It should therefore be made difficult for individuals to borrow large amount of money. What is your opinion on this?

These days, people can use credit cards and loans to reach financial resource for personal reasons. As a result, they may be deep in debt and repaying ability seems to be impossible. Therefore, individuals often meet many obstacles when they borrow huge amount of money from banks. In this essay, I shall consider the main causes of this problem, and try to put forward some possible solutions.

First of all, the financial and income information of consumers is not evident. These people tend to fear of providing information which relate to their income and situations. Thus, it is very hard for banks to verify the financial situations of their clients to value the repaying ability.

Another factor contributing to this setback is that banks often find many difficulties to evaluate the possibility of their consumers' projects. Banks do not have enough reliable information source to asses the customers' projects. In Vietnam, the center of information of Vietnam State Bank almost has no information about the customer's project; whether it really works or not. Furthermore, suppose that banks allow customers to borrow money, if risks occur, those banks will have to take a lot of time and money for the capital retrieval. Because of this, executives of banks usually decide to limit the ability of borrowing private capital.

When all is said and done, frankly, these reasons produce the cautious attitude of bank in allowing individual to lend. However, banks should not eliminate the borrowing money of individual because of many unavoidable good aspects. Customers and banks should share responsibilities for mutual benefits. By providing clear and adequate information, banks will believe in clients, so the lending process will be faster. Another long-term solution to address this issue is that lending policy should not only depend on mortgage estates but also take care closely of the possibility of customer's projects.

daquoc 1 / 4  
Mar 15, 2011   #2
Hi SuYper

It's great essay. Should you insert a blank line for each section. That's easy to read.
OP SuYper 4 / 10  
Mar 15, 2011   #3
Thank you for your comment :)
How about my arguments?
About the smooth of these sentences, can you help me to make it better and more academic?
ajit88rai 22 / 188 3  
Mar 15, 2011   #4
hi,
Its a real good essay. your points are very clear and quite strong.But you should also be ready to counter the views which are against your opinion. For instance, what about an individual who needs a large sum to pay for his tuitions or educational expenses like laptops or other necessary articles. some banks dont pay attention to that. it should be the problem of the banks to find a solution and making it too strict will only result in losing their trusted customers. do think about these points.

-your grammar is no doubt very good and also the range of words you are using is excellent as far as i have known the ielts standards.

-"These days, people can use credit cards and loans to reach financial resource for personal reasons. As a result, they may be deep in debt and repaying ability seems to be impossible. Therefore, individuals often meet many obstacles when they borrow huge amount of money from banks. In this essay, I shall consider the main causes of this problem, and try to put forward some possible solutions. - this line is really not needed. u need to write a very effective theme sentence here.

- do work on ur listening n reading sections specifically. writing n speaking is subjected to conditions and mood of the examiner i feel. its totally subjective. however L n R is totally objective and u can score up to 8.5 even if u pay attention


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