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IELTS Taks 2 - Rapid economic development cause some problems


SuYper 4 / 10  
Mar 15, 2011   #1
In recent years, some countries have experienced very rapid economic development, it results in much standard of living in urban areas not in countryside. This situation brings many problems to countries as a hole. What are the problems and solutions?

In the day and age, the fast growing of economy has made many countries developed. However, it tend to result in rasing living standard in cities not in rural areas. This circumstance brings many drawbacks to countries. Therefore, in this essay, I shall consider main causes of this problem, and try to put forward some possible solutions.

At first sight, it is easy to relize that these countries are suffering the ansynchoronous development although their economy increases dramatically. This makes the quality of life in urban area is better than those in countryside. For one thing, the salary of citizen is often higher and more stable than countryman, and they also have more chances earn money; as the result the gap between rich and poor is wider. In Vietnam, for instance, a study in 2010 showed that GINI index reflects the disparity in wealth and consumption in the society of Vietnam was 36.2, which was higher than advanced countries like USA or Japan.

Another outstanding obstacle is that the manpower from country flocked to the metropolis for finding jobs because the misunderstanding about the available of works. However, these people seem not to be educated to work for industrial market, thus they will lack of neccesary skills and can not survive in the new enviroment. This will lead to unemployment and the labour market of the country will have to bear heavy consequences. It is not only affect badly to work market but also the unbalanced workforce between these two areas.

To tackle these drawbacks, government should have a strong and effective policies to not only balance the development between urban and rural areas but also ensure that the economy still grows rapidly. What is more, universities, factories should be built in countryside to either encourage people to widen their knowledge or creat more jobs for local people.

In the nutshell, I hold the firm that this situation brings many difficulties to countries. However, with the long-term solutions, these problems will be addressed quickly.

KathyLala 20 / 116  
Mar 15, 2011   #2
Here are some tips
=>... it tends to result in rasing living standard in cities, not in rural areas (you forget "S")

=>... it is easy to realize that these countries are suffering the ansynchoronous development. (uh, "ansynchoronous" is new to me, can you tell me what is this? Anyway, you misspelling "realize")

=>..as a result, the gap between rich and poor is wider

=>...;thus, they are lack of neccesary skills and cannot survive in the new enviroment ("cannot" is one word, I would use "are" instead of "will")

=> It is not only a major effect to work market but also unbalancing workforce between a city and a countryside ("these two areas", you mean a city and a countryside? If so, I think you have to mention a gain, it is difficult to guess. Also, I think "effect" is a right word rather than "affect" because you mention a result-I treat it as a noun)

=> ...government should have strong and effective policies to balance the development between urban and rural areas and to ensure that the economy still grows rapidly ("policies" is plural, no article "a")

=>...their knowledge or create more jobs for local people (misspell)

=>In the nutshell....("nutshell", another new word for me, thanks) ..I hold the firm that ( this ) situation brings many difficulties...=>(discribe "this")
OP SuYper 4 / 10  
Mar 15, 2011   #3
ah yeah, thanks, i wrote this essay in a hurry so there are some unexpected mistakes.
asynchronous (not ansynchoronous :D ) means not occur at the same time.
How about my arguments and also the smooth of these sentences?
KathyLala 20 / 116  
Mar 16, 2011   #4
Hi Yen!
The arguments are quite clear, your essay is flowed well, but I usually don't merely said "in this essay I will talk about..." like you say in your essay, "in this essay..." instead of this, you can compose it as a question and follow with your answer. Your conclusion is a little short, but I can't think of any better idea. (sorry, I'm a slow thinker)


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