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Talk about a artificial disaster and its consequences


zoetrinh 1 / -  
Sep 5, 2019   #1
I'm not a native English speaker/writer, so please help me review and correct my writing below. Thank you so much.

let's protect our planet



I'm telling you about a forest fire occured in my hometown 2 months ago. It had started when a villager was burning gabage on the foot of the mountain. Unfortunately, strong wind combined with dry weather and to much dry leaves make the fire broke out and became uncontrollable. Althought local people and authority tried their best to put out the blaze but after 2 days, the situation was under control.

The fire had destroyed a large area of primary forest, killed one person trying to fight it and many species of animals as well. We all know, it will take so long time for the forest to restore its previous state.

The man who caused this disaster was sentenced 20 years in jail. I, personally think, the authority should fine him to re-afforest instead of imprison him, that's more useful in a humanity way. Cause I know villagers here are honest, but a little bit ignorance. They lack of knowledge in protecting forest.

After all, let's protect the forest, the ocean, the air and our planet in general. That means we are save our life and our family's as well.

roswita116 16 / 37 17  
Sep 7, 2019   #2
Hi,there.

I would like to give you some writing suggestions about your writing.😊😊

It would be better to avoid the starter like * I am telling you...* it seems like informal. Instead, you can try like this *It was.....*

And I would suggest you can write a conclusion like below.

To conclude + restate your opinion (I strongly believe...) + restate 2 reason (because...)

This is what I usually do when I am writing the conclusion.

I hope this could be help. Best of luck in your future writings.😊😊


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