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IELTS Writing Tas 1 (The Total Value of Fish Including Its Comparison of Imported-Countries)

ditoaji 5 / 7 2  
Sep 12, 2017   #1

values of fish imported to the US

The table describes how value of fish grew in the US (measured in Billion of dollar) and the pie charts compare the proportion of several countries which exported those source. Both of surveyed-diagram present data from 1988 to 2000.

It is clearly shown on the table that fish had values for more than 6.5 billion of dollars in the initial year. By the following 4 year, the number had risen to around 8.5 then grew continually until the end of the period-given, accounted for well above 10.5 billion of dollar in 2000.In the other word, an increasing values itself was about 65% over 14 year-period.

A part from the comparison above, the pie charts showed Canada dominated the imported-fish in America in 1988, 60% of all the exported-countries. Yet in the end of the 2000 the figure for other countries and china took over the domination of Canada in term of imported-fish to America. The former rose to 42% and the latter calculated 30% while Canada saw a gradual dropped to 28%.

Overall, the values of imported-fish in the US experienced an upward trend in all period. Meanwhile, regarding to the exported-fish countries,Canada was initially the largest imported-fish delivered to America, but showed a decline to more than halve in the end of period. However, other countries and China saw a considerable growth in 14 year period and dominated in 2000.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,056 2734  
Sep 12, 2017   #2
Dian, when you write a Task 1 essay, information accuracy is of the utmost importance. When you present the wrong information in your essay, which can be seen by comparing what you wrote with the illustration provided, you will automatically fail the test because you will not get a passing TA score. You made a serious information dissemination error in this essay when you wrote your opening summary. The information you provided was inaccurate and would have misinformed the reader had this been used for an actual report. The proper summary is:

There are 2 data representations provided in this essay. One is a numerical chart that indicates the total billion dollar value of fish imported to the United States. The second, is a pie chart depicting the percentages of fish imported by the United States from 3 different source countries namely China, Canada, and others. The data covers the individual years of 1988, 1992, and 2000. This essay will report on the provided information from the charts.

The information is about fish "imported" to the US via the 3 countries. It is not about the US exporting fish to those countries. Your information is faulty and therefore, does not properly represent the prompt requirement. You also reported that the information comes from 4 years, indicating a continuous cycle of information sharing. However, the information is broken into specific years within both charts. Therefore, it does not come from 4 years. Rather, it comes from 3 specific years of measurement. A failing TA score will be given in this instance.

Be aware of your grammar rules when it comes to capitalization. Proper names of countries, such as China are always capitalized. You were inconsistent and have a lower case spelling of the country name in the essay. I know, it seems minimal to you, but to the examiner, that is a glaring lack of grammar accuracy and you will lose points accordingly.
daiha20082009 6 / 9  
Sep 12, 2017   #3
You need to have an overview part, which is represented by Overall. In task 1, no need to write a conclusion
IELTS JOHN 2 / 3  
Sep 12, 2017   #4
many grammatical errors. mainly the subject verb agreement. the tenses are also off.

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