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IELTS WRITING TASK 2- Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots.


vukhanhvan 2 / 3  
Jul 26, 2021   #1
TOPIC :
Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots.

Is this a negative or positive development?



MY WRITING

With the advanced optimization of the modern world, the advent of robotic equipment has assisted human in both working and domestic tasks. While this breeds considerable benefits, certain resulting problems should be taken into sober consideration.

One of the greatest contributions of robot to human life is that they enable millions of people to work efficiently and enjoy higher quality of life. In fact, thanks to the capability of robotic devices to handle work and resolve information at incredible speed and with accuracy, the burden of workloads could be substantially lowered, which means that many workers would expedite working process and yield more desirable productivity. At the same time, as household chores including cooking and cleaning are done by robots, many employees would have more time to relax and enjoy healthy home-cooked meals after a hard-working day at workplaces. This helps them to preclude potential diseases related to the lack of relaxation and consumption of unhygienic food including obesity, diabetes and even cancer.

Notwithstanding all that, i am convinced that there are various risks that human may have to incur as a result of reliance on robotic assistants. From an objective perspective, the completion of domestic chores by robots means that people would take less physical activities and be highly likely to lead a sedentary lifestyle. This is totally a thorny problem in the fast-paced world where millions of them desperately need a healthy and active body to work efficaciously and prevent illnesses. Without being health-conscious and continuing to rely on these futuristic devices, not only do they have to expend more money to pay for the cost of hospitalization but their longevity is also reduced. Moreover, once such state-of-the-art artificial intelligence is able to perform tasks and assignments more effectively than human, chances are that they will be under the threat of being superseded and made redundant. Consequently, unemployment coupled with social maladies would inevitably accelerate and the future of humanity could be threatened.

In conclusion, although the importance of robots in assisting people with work and household tasks is unimpeachable, i think that people's lives could be dominated as a result of their versatility based on aforementioned arguments.

Please give a band on my essay
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,560 4442  
Jul 27, 2021   #2
The flowery word usage does not respond correctly to the question asked. Direct opinion statements will help deliver a clear and topic connected opinion The response presentation altered the discussion topic format.

O Q: IS THIS A NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE DEVELOPMENT?
Response: ...certain resulting problems should be taken into sober consideration.

Rather than delivering a positive or negative response, the writer created a benefits and disadvantages discussion. That approach does not relate to the question being asked. The response does not connect with the question properly. The writer created a totally disconnected discussion prompt of his own.

The essay, due to the altered discussion response and format will recieve a failing score based mostly on an unrelated prompt response.
OP vukhanhvan 2 / 3  
Jul 27, 2021   #3
@Holt
Thanks for your feedback, i will correct some mistakes in my essay.


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