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The tax cut for parents, who send their children to private schools, is a practical necessity

Huu Chi 1 / 2  
Nov 5, 2020   #1

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes

Today, many people believe that reducing amount of tax paid by parents, who attend their children to private education, is a practical necessity. This supporting in turn will boost quality education system in their nation.

However, in my opinion, I do not encourage this point of view because of having several reasons shed light on in two paragraphs below.

The firstly, one of primary responsibility of government is to set up the equal policies. The minority of wealthy families who send their children to private schools, while the majority of poor citizens who have not abilities to conduct the similar thing and must contribute amount of tax per month or year for public services. That prompt the social issues in any countries, including inequality. Moreover, the pandemic Covid-19 has killed millions of people around the word and the most of them face the difficult situations such as poverty, sickness, unemployed, etc. Therefore, conducting a tax discount for rich households is not the best way to become the thriving nation. Under economic view and I am the economist, thus I denounce this solution.

On the other hand, the payment amount of tax for public schools is useful and realistic. Because it confer equal opportunities for all people, particularly unfortunate life. Furthermore, it also acquires a completely mercy meaning, in which government play an initial role to increase quality workforce and bring benefits for all members of community through many choices.

With that in mind, I consider that supporting a tax reduction for the minority of citizens, who are fortunate enough to send their youngsters to private education system, is an unrealistic and unequal policy. All policy makers should calculate and research this issue clearly.
Alpha Economist 1 / 2 1  
Nov 5, 2020   #2
Hi, I believe we come from the same country :D

- What do you mean by "This supporting": Does it refer to the private education, the amount of tax, or the reduction in the amount of tax?

- " because of having several reasons ... I would change it to "because of the following reasons"
-" The Firstly"
- "one of primary responsibilities"
- "set up the equal policy" should be changed to "reduce inequality"
- you should rewrite this sentence "The minority of wealthy ..."
- "That prompt the social ...". This sentence does not have a subject. "prompt" should be "prompts"
- " the most of them "
-"Under economic view and I ..." This sentence is unclear. Maybe something like "As an economist, I disagree with this solution"
OP Huu Chi 1 / 2  
Nov 6, 2020   #3
@Alpha Economist

Many thanks Mr/Ms Alpha! I'm just not trying so hard to get high band score but pursuing the academic and so pleasure for anything revised by you...

Firstly, rewriting this sentence "The minority of wealthy ...", may you help me some advice?

Secondly, might you give me your name or another something, as: phone number, face book, email,...

Lastly, I think I will send you a number of writing practices and hope to receive feedback from you!

Nice day.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,413 4391  
Nov 6, 2020   #4
Your essay will automatically get a lower than passing score in the TA section because of your irrelevant discussion response. You are being asked to present an extent response to the given query. Yet your response does not represent the measured response with a guiding topic sentence. Therefore, your essay will be scored as having an inappropriate response, which is not a passing score in that section. As such, the main scoring consideration for your essay will start at a disadvantage. A non-passing score.

The fact that you threw in a comparative discussion when the requirement was a single opinion defense essay will further ensure that this essay will not get a passing score. You need to understand how to respond to the Task 2 essays, Unless you are clearly asked to compare discussion points of view, you need to focus on defending only your personal and single point of view.
OP Huu Chi 1 / 2  
Nov 6, 2020   #5
Thank you for your advice, Mr/Ms Holt. I will try to revise this practice again!

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