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'a teacher should not only focuss on teaching' - IELTS


dianalpy 3 / 5  
Oct 11, 2011   #1
Hi, can someone help me to go through my essay. Your help is very much appreciated.

The topic of my essay is "Many people believe that teachers should teach students how to judge right from wrong and how to behave, while others think they should just teach academic subjects. What is your opinion?"

Teaching is a process of transferring information and knowledge from one person to another. A good teacher should not solely teaches academic subjects but to develop a knowledgeable person with high moral values. Thus, in my opinion, a teacher should teaches an academic subjects and at the same time instills moral values.

Firstly, teaching the assigned subjects is the responsibility and core business of a teacher. From the past to nowadays, this profession is made to educate and equip the next generation with knowledge and all sorts of information, for instance, calculations, sciences and languages in order for them to face the challenge of life in future. Because of this, teachers should teach academic subjects.

Secondly, moral values are inseperatable from human life and these moral values are instilled in every students indirectly. In real life, students are taught, for examples, to greet, to speak and to ask permission politely and courteuosly. In addition, a teacher would always advice and enlighten students with disciplinary problems so that these students could be a better person in future. Therefore, teachers should teach students to have correct judgement and to behave.

In conclusion, teachers play a vital role in developing the next generation. Without a doubt, a teacher should not only focussing on teaching an academic subjects but to build a high-moral student for the sake of future development and harmonious.
smilectt 4 / 7  
Oct 11, 2011   #2
just put some grammar mistakes out for u, as i am also an IELTS candidate.So it's fairly difficult for me to give suggestions about your content.

Let's improve together.

A good teacher should not solely teaches academic subjects but to develop a knowledgeable person with high moral values.
( NOTES: after 'should ',you should use the original tense of the verb,here should be"teach")
the same mistake also shows in:
a teacher should not only focussing on teaching an academic subjects but to build a high-moral student for the sake of future development and harmonious.

and you seem to haven't really grasp the usage of "not only...but also"

" a teacher should focus on not only teaching ...but also building..." might be better.

and "an academic subjects" is an apparent mistake

and also "harmonious" is an adjective and we need a noun there. maybe "harmony"

and personally,i don't think "without a doubt" is good, you may use"there's no doubt that..."or "undoubtedly..."or maybe "without any doubt.."is ok.

thank you
OP dianalpy 3 / 5  
Oct 11, 2011   #3
Thank you very much for the information. I do really get the input especially the usage of 'should'. Thanks. ^_^
I need to work hard on grammar...lol ^_^


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