It's about 450 words so I guess the length is fine for toefl exam. Do I need more complicated "big" words?
Any feedback would be appreciated! :)
how to behave during a meeting situation
Question: Imagine that you are in a classroom or a meeting. The teacher or the meeting leader says something incorrect. In your opinion, which of the following is the best thing to do? 1. Interrupt and correct the mistake right away; 2. Wait until the class or meeting is over and the people are gone, and then talk to the teacher or meeting leader; 3. Say nothing.
Answer:
When we attend classes or meetings,it is a common case that what the teachers of the leaders say is not 100 percent precise, and it leads us to ponder if or how we should let them know. While peoples' reactions after noticing the mistakes can be varied, personally I believe that it is the best option to wait until the class or meeting is over and talk to the speaker, and I will explore several reasons in this essay.
To start with, compared with saying nothing, pointing out the mistake can avoid misunderstanding. In most circumstances, mistakes made in meetings or classes can cause misconception. For example, if the leader announces a measure to deal with a problem in a meeting but he makes a minor mistake, the audience would misunderstand the current situation and the effective solutions to solve the problem. As a result, people in charge of implementing this measure may make even more mistakes when they carry it out, which can have undesirable consequences.
Moreover, waiting for a while is more efficient for the progress of the event than interrupting immediately. This is because the speaker is usually unaware of the mistake before someone points it out, so it will take him some time to understand the mistake and to figure out how to correct it. As a result, interrupting right away would disturb the meeting or the class and slow down the progress. For instance, a few years ago, when I was in a game theory class, I noticed the model was not precise because of a small detail, but it would take about 10 minutes to explain the detail and make sure everyone in the classroom understand it, so I waited until after class and talked to the professor, and he corrected it next day.
Last but not least, talking with the teacher or the meeting leader afterwards provides more time for communication. During the discussion after the class or meeting, it is possible to further discuss the mistake, and to propose potential solutions to correct the mistake. For example, when we notice that the teacher misinterprets a concept in class, we can show him the correct definition after class, and provide several explanations and examples to make it easier for students to understand. In this way, not only the teacher reconsiders an issue that he overlooked when preparing for the class, but also students can learn more about this concept.
In conclusion, the best alternative is to wait until the class or meeting is over and talk to the speaker, due to the fact that it can avoid potential misunderstanding, it's more efficient for the progress, and it provides more time for exchanging ideas.@yui meow
Here to provide feedback for this essay. Let's take a look at what you have as of the moment.
To answer first your introductory question, it would be both a yes and a no. While big words are inessential and do not add an explicit value, they showcase a bold attitude towards writing. The reception of this boldness would depend upon your intent of writing. If you want to seemingly appear more professional, big words can be beneficial. I would only be cautious of overdoing it, causing the writing to perhaps be construed in the process.
Generally, your writing needs a bit more work when it comes to compartmentalizing information. If you take a look at your first paragraph, you need to add more pauses and periods. This would be in opposition to using commas as transitions. While commas are alright, they sometimes disrupt your writing, making your essay appear as though you are unaware of run-on sentences. Be cautious of this.
The succeeding paragraphs did get better still. You had a few mistakes regarding simplification of messages, but the general look of your writing is well-done. I suggest only making the length of your sentences more concise to fit the content a bit better.
