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Teacher is a person who believes in you, tugs, pushes and leads you to the next plateau


KhushbooVohra 3  
Jan 14, 2018   #1

being poked with a sharp stick called 'truth'



Dan Rather, former CBS anchorman, spoke of teachers who help other by being one "who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called 'truth'." Consider a situation where a teacher, coach, mentor, friend or relative acted in this way towards you.

My husband was working in the United States of America in a reputed firm and I arrived here on a dependent visa as soon as I got married after completing my bachelors. My husband supported me in my decision of pursuing my masters in education in the US as I dreaded being a housewife and my aim is to be principal in the future. He had already researched the exams that I was needed to appear for to apply for college as well as the colleges offering the course I wanted to apply for. When I saw the curriculum of CSET that I had to study for the exams, I was demotivated and thought of pursuing a masters degree in another field because I did not want to study the lengthy curriculum of elementary school all over again.

But my husband kept pushing me to study harder and also orally asked me all questions to help me revise. After appearing for all exams, I did not clear in three exams. I was really heartbroken because I did not want to study everything all over again and also because this was the first time I had faced failure. I made a decision of not studying ahead. He pep talked me into reappearing for the exams again but I was adamant about my decision. Suddenly, he rose in anger and told me,"if you do not study here, you will be a housewife forever. It is either now or never. You will never be a principal and all your dreams with just be mere dreams and nothing else." His words poked me like a splintered glass. I was broken but after much introspection, I realized that what he told me was the truth as I was taking my exams very lightly and yet had not given my best.

The next morning before my husband woke up, I had registered for all the exams that I had to reappear for. I ordered for more studying materials online and made a timetable that would help me study in order to get the passing score. I started visiting the library to be more studious and spend maximum time studying and practicing for my exam. In all this, my husband was constantly backing me. Soon I appeared for on exam and cleared. But my husband kept me grounded as he reminded me that I still had two more exams to go and we would celebrate only once I clear all the exams.

I was brought to reality by my husband, as I was in another country where I had to follow the rules and achieve my goals. You raise to success from failure. There are so many people whom we look up to like Steve Jobs, Walt Disney or Colonel Sanders but we do not know who was their driving force or mentor. A mentor/guide/coach/teacher is someone who has complete faith in you and pushes you when you become stagnant. For me, my husband is my mentor, guide, coach, and friend. If he had not trusted my capabilities and supported me, I would be sitting at home and wasting this valuable time of my life.
Holt [Contributor] 1543  
Jan 14, 2018   #2
Khushboo, I believe that this essay can score a 3. Again, it will score highly because it is based on a personal narrative. You do not have a problem with the personal narrative. You have a problem with the analytical essay. That is what you should be focused on. Always prepare for the unexpected and focus on your weakness instead of your strengths in your preparations. While you should prepare adequately for the part of the test that you excel in, you should work extra hard on the sections where you are sure to fail, such as the analysis of an event essay. The grammar errors that you have in this essay are minimal, which is is why you still scored near the upper level of the passing score. Some mistakes that you made in this essay are:

My husband was working in the United States of America ... and I arrived here on a dependent visa as soon as I got married after completing my bachelors.

- This is an unclear declaration. It is impossible for you to have arrived soon after getting married after completing your bachelors. The proper clear representation is "... dependent visa after completing my bachelors."

that I was needed to

- that I needed to...

The word "But" is a connecting word and is never used to start a sentence. That is a standard English writing rule.

questions to help me revise

- you are not revising, you are reviewing

These but a few examples of the grammar mistakes that you made in this essay that do not impede understanding of your statement but still shows a severe ESL problem when it comes to your written and spoken English grammar presentations that can affect your teaching style within an ENL setting in an American school.
OP KhushbooVohra 3  
Jan 27, 2018   #3
@Holt
I passed my CBEST exam. Thank you so much for your constructive and quick feedbacks. :)


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