Khushboo, I believe that this essay can score a 3. Again, it will score highly because it is based on a personal narrative. You do not have a problem with the personal narrative. You have a problem with the analytical essay. That is what you should be focused on. Always prepare for the unexpected and focus on your weakness instead of your strengths in your preparations. While you should prepare adequately for the part of the test that you excel in, you should work extra hard on the sections where you are sure to fail, such as the analysis of an event essay. The grammar errors that you have in this essay are minimal, which is is why you still scored near the upper level of the passing score. Some mistakes that you made in this essay are:
My husband was working in the United States of America ... and I arrived here on a dependent visa as soon as I got married after completing my bachelors.
- This is an unclear declaration. It is impossible for you to have arrived soon after getting married after completing your bachelors. The proper clear representation is "... dependent visa after completing my bachelors."
that I was needed to
- that I needed to...
The word "But" is a connecting word and is never used to start a sentence. That is a standard English writing rule.
questions to help me revise
- you are not revising, you are reviewing
These but a few examples of the grammar mistakes that you made in this essay that do not impede understanding of your statement but still shows a severe ESL problem when it comes to your written and spoken English grammar presentations that can affect your teaching style within an ENL setting in an American school.