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IELTS Task2: Teacher's responsibility in Student Upbringing


raj_ielts 3 / 11 2  
Jan 6, 2014   #1
Topic: Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and what is wrong so that they can behave well. Others think that teachers should only teach academic subjects to students.

Discuss both views and give your opinion


Today's students are tomorrow's future. It is very important that students should grow up as responsible citizens of the society. The role of parents and teachers in student's upbringing is always a topic of debate. Some people say that teacher's responsibility is not just limited to teaching academics but also help them understand the morals of society whereas few argue that teacher's role should be confined to teaching academics alone.

I firmly believe that teacher's should not only focus on academics but also concentrate on building the attitude of a student.

The reason why teacher's role is much more than teaching mere academics is -
Firstly. school is a place where students acquire many behavioral skills needed for society such as communicating with others, sharing things with friends, involving in debates and discussions. These socializing skills define the traits of a student and therefore school plays an important role in building the right attitude. In addition, since students tend to spend lot of time at school, the influence of their peers is immense and also parents cannot always monitor every move of their child while they are away from home. Given the fact of distraction levels during schooling age, it becomes very essential that teachers keep an eye and guide them as to differentiate between right and wrong.

However, on the other hand some people argue that teachers should only teach academics and there is no need for teachers to focus on attitude building for students. I think given the growing needs and increase in standards of life, it has become imperative that both parents need to work. Therefore, parents cannot devote much attention towards their child's education and attitude. In addition, education has become much matured than mere academics, subjects like moral science needs practical approach.

Finally, in my opinion there is no doubt that teacher's contribution in a student's development is beyond teaching academics. However, it is the right balance between the teachers and parents' attitude that nurture the good qualities in student needed for society.

MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jan 6, 2014   #2
It is very important that students should grow up as responsible citizens of the society. The role of parents and teachers in student's upbringing is always a topic of debate.

I feel that these sentences are quite not related directly to the topic. Also, the role of parents in raising their children is not mentioned in the prompt, so I don't think this is a topic of debate in this case.

Some people say that teacher's responsibility is not just limited to teaching academics but also help them understand the morals of society whereas few argue that teacher's role should be confined to teaching academics alone. I firmly believe that teacher's should not only focus on academics but also concentrate on building the attitude of a student.

While some people think that teachers should be solely responsible for teaching academic subjects, I firmly believe that they play an important role in guiding students' manners as well.

The reason why teacher's role is much more than teaching mere academics is -

This sentence can be omitted. It adds no value to your paragraph.

socializing skills

social skills

Firstly. school is a place where students acquire many behavioral skills needed for society such as communicating with others, sharing things with friends, involving in debates and discussions. These socializing skills define the traits of a student and therefore school plays an important role in building the right attitude. In addition, since students tend to spend lot of time at school, the influence of their peers is immense and also parents cannot always monitor every move of their child while they are away from home.

You should focus on the role of teachers, rather than the influence of parents or friends.

However , on the other hand

I think given the growing needs and increase in standards of life, it has become imperative that both parents need to work. Therefore, parents cannot devote much attention towards their child's education and attitude

I think this paragraph could be improved by mentioning how teachers teach students the right behaviour as these two sentences are just the reasons why parents can't take the responsibility alone.

Do I need to adhere to the same structure that you have suggested or is there is different approach for the above format

In a discussion essay, the first body paragraph is to discuss the first view while the second view can be stated in the second body paragraph.

In an argumentative essay, you should give at least 2 reasons to support how you agree or disagree with the given opinion in the prompt. Each paragraph is to explain and support each reason.
OP raj_ielts 3 / 11 2  
Jan 7, 2014   #3
Hi MisterWandering,

Thanks for you elaborated comments, so essay got deviated and became off topic. I think it needs lot of practice. Btw, any specific improvement areas that I need to work on. Once again thank you so much for reviewing my essay.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jan 7, 2014   #4
yes, you could have had a better alignment with your topic and the prompt is not directed at the role of teachers and parents play in making children responsible citizens in society. It is purely about the teachers' role - are they responsible for teaching students to judge what is right and what is wrong so that they can behave well or they are solely responsible for students' academic performance. I think you've gone off track there :(

Thanks for you elaborated comments, so essay got deviated and became off topic. I think it needs lot of practice. Btw, any specific improvement areas that I need to work on. Once again thank you so much for reviewing my essay.

Spend a little more time to get the main idea of your topic. With practice you'll be fine :)


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