It is very important that students should grow up as responsible citizens of the society. The role of parents and teachers in student's upbringing is always a topic of debate.
I feel that these sentences are quite not related directly to the topic. Also, the role of parents in raising their children is not mentioned in the prompt, so I don't think this is a topic of debate in this case.
Some people say that teacher's responsibility is not just limited to teaching academics but also help them understand the morals of society whereas few argue that teacher's role should be confined to teaching academics alone. I firmly believe that teacher's should not only focus on academics but also concentrate on building the attitude of a student.
While some people think that teachers should be solely responsible for teaching academic subjects, I firmly believe that they play an important role in guiding students' manners as well.
The reason why teacher's role is much more than teaching mere academics is -
This sentence can be omitted. It adds no value to your paragraph.
Firstly. school is a place where students acquire many behavioral skills needed for society such as communicating with others, sharing things with friends, involving in debates and discussions. These socializing skills define the traits of a student and therefore school plays an important role in building the right attitude. In addition, since students tend to spend lot of time at school, the influence of their peers is immense and also parents cannot always monitor every move of their child while they are away from home.
You should focus on the role of teachers, rather than the influence of parents or friends.
However , on the other hand
I think given the growing needs and increase in standards of life, it has become imperative that both parents need to work. Therefore, parents cannot devote much attention towards their child's education and attitude
I think this paragraph could be improved by mentioning how teachers teach students the right behaviour as these two sentences are just the reasons why parents can't take the responsibility alone.
Do I need to adhere to the same structure that you have suggested or is there is different approach for the above format
In a discussion essay, the first body paragraph is to discuss the first view while the second view can be stated in the second body paragraph.
In an argumentative essay, you should give at least 2 reasons to support how you agree or disagree with the given opinion in the prompt. Each paragraph is to explain and support each reason.