IELTS: should teachers be paid according to the quality of their teaching?

Hi everyone. Here's another sample essay for writing task 2 for IELTS. It just so happened that I picked another topic about education again. Please give me some advice, corrections and feedback. Any comments will be appreciated. Thanks!

Task Description: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Education is one of the foundations of an individual's personality and credibility. And teaching the students everything they need to know about anything is just one of the major responsibilities of a teacher. But we must admit that some teachers are not good enough to do that. That is why I affirm that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn from them.

Some teachers are just not that good at teaching. I remember when I was in my third year in college, I had a professor who teaches so bad. She just reads her lectures and it was really rare for her to answer our questions without reading the text book. That type of teaching doesn't really help students to learn. There's also this another professor who only asks us to pay for something so that we don't have to attend to her classes anymore. Because of this, some students lose their eagerness and motivation to learn because they know they can pass even without studying if they just pay. Students, in nature, get really lazy sometimes and they might think that those methods of teaching are better for them. Somehow it can be better because they can focus more on subjects that are more difficult. But the fact that they paid to be educated is being neglected. These kinds of teachers should not be paid with the same amount of salary as those who really teach good because that's just so unfair.

Therefore, really believe that it is just right to pay the teachers according to the quality of education that they give to students.

i forgot to put "I" on my conclusion. :)

Education is one of thelays the foundationsfor the development of an individual's personality and credibility of an individual . And teaching the students everything they need to know about anything is just one of the major responsibilities of a teacher. But we must admitoften see that some teachers are not good enough to do thatdeliver what is expected from them .

Some teachers are just not that good at teaching.-----This is not grammatically wrong. However, I would suggest you to write this sentence differently to give more emphasis to your point. For example; ;

Some teachers lack teaching abilities .

She just reads out her lectures and it was reallyvery rarely for her to answered our questions without readingreferring to the text book. That type ofSuch teaching doesn't really help students to learn. ------- At this point you can say that teachers should be confident and knowledgeable in order to be effective in what they teach.

There's was also this another professor who only askeds us to pay for something so that we don't have to attend to her classes anymorein order to discourage us attending her classes . (she must be a wiered person)

Because of this, some students loselost their eagernessinterest and got demotivationed to learn because they knowknew they cancould pass examination even without studying if they just paypaid her .----------------- Why don't you write in past tense when you record incidents happened in the past? I think it's important

You know, I have to say... I like the first way a little more! I like how blunt it sounds: "Some teachers are not that good at teaching."

It's like saying, "Some clowns are not that funny!"

Anyway, I also wanted to say, Dumi, that I wish we had some kind of cash prize for the most consistent, helpful contributors. We have no prize like that, though, so please accept my gratitude instead!! Let me know if you ever need a professional reference, letter of recommendation, or something like that. :-)


Jerome, this can be a very good sentence. Like Dumi said, though, if you are talking about that bad teacher you had, you should write in the past tense.

*** Verb tense is the hardest part of English, I think!!!

:-)

You should conclude with more ideas and information.
And writing in only 3 paragraphs should not be.
Please remember not to use the words in speaking style. (There's, don't)
:)

Thank you Kevin. I will do that when I write my next essay. I hope you can give me some feedback again.

Thanks everyone! I appreciate your help