Teachers and schools for child development - Ielts writing task 2 evaluation and opinion

Hello please kindly evaluate my essay and give some opinios. Thank you all!

Task 2: Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school.

Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

What's best for a child?

Answer:
Nowadays, whether home-schooling or regular school system is best for children's development is a popular topic. I certainly believe it is important for children to go to school. The following essay will outline the advantages of both two methods of education.

Teachers will make reports and communicate with the parents once the child is left behind or off track when they go to school. With supports from school, parents just need to confirm the schoolwork is up-to-date. Another advantage is children make friends at school and getting used to groups and socialized; as school is like a miniature society, there are different roles for students to play accordingly just like the adult's society. Children will learn what behaviors and attitudes they should have towards other children, teachers and parents could observe how the child is fitting into it.

Others believe that home-schooling is much better for children's development because it allows children to spend much time for discovering their interest and talents. It is much easier for parents to schedule the daily plan as they prefer and make more time for children to learn various classes not only academic, but more of athletic or art. Also parents get to spend more time with their children while learning at home or with parents on side.

To conclude, from the points I mentioned above, I personally prefer it is best for my child to go to school, although there are many advantages in both methods of education for children. It is the parents responsibility to decide which method they agree and that certainly will be the best for the child.

Hi there, I would like to provide some of my opinions on this essay.

This essay is clear-structured, with one main paragraph discussing the benefits of home-schooling and another about that of going to a school.

However, According to the promt, a) Discuss the advantages of both methods and b) give your own opinion should be given similar amount of elaboration. So I would suggest that another paragraph should be dedicted to the writer's own opinion.

Dear Vicky,

Overall, you have some grammatical and structural errors. However, I think the issue of your essay is the fact that you do not elaborate on your ideas. Whether you are presenting a debate or rising a question in the introduction or explaining the main point of a body paragraph you should offer examples and reasons to back your claims.

Simply stating facts is not going to make your essay solid.

Good Luck!